Calvin the Coroner

When Calvin was a boy

There was a lot to comprehend

A high imagination

But he never had a friend

His father bought the funeral parlor

Just around the bend from the macys

He helped around the basement

And he swore to never tell

He couldn't stand the bodies

But he grew to like the smell

Formaldehyde and suicide

Are words that came too well

To a young boy (oh boy!)

Every night he spent

Telescoping in his room

Watching naughty audrey

Smoking on the roof

He fell for her from a far

And someday he'd tell her

Lady luck, try your hand on me

Fill her dreams with the

Quiet boy across the street

Who came undone

Certain things I've seen too young, but

I'm sure she's seen her share of

Blood, guts, and daddy don't care

Waiting is so hard to bare

I'd really like to meet you

But they teach you not to mix

With those (unknowns)

I'd like to get to know you

Like to show you all the things

They don't (and they won't)

I'd simply like to tell you

That you're swell

And I could take you home (uh-oh!)

I'll be waiting

Just the other week

It was a dream come true

Audrey came a-knockin'

Said she didn't know what to do

She asked him for a favor

He said “anything for you

Audrey macy”