Buy My Friggin Album Bitch!

[Verse 1]

Buy my CD or I'll break your fuckin' head

I got 15 hundred copies in boxes under my bed

Heard what I said, buy it, shit at least try it

This shit is dope as fuck don't make me pull your ears with pliers

Ain't no one buyin' my album it should've been platinum

At least gold, the kids don't buy my shit I'm gonna crack'em

My idea street promotion is drivin' through places

And peggin' promo tapes at peoples faces sayin' "buy it you homo"

A promo, what? you want free shit

You better pay up, I'll even take food stamps kid

If you ain't got a job, man it's cool you can rob

Still from your old man, cuz he's a fat drunken slob

And ya mom, she's blown in lonely Ville for 20

So just tell that smelly hoe you need some money buddy

I go to the stores that are selling LP's

Tell'em move some fuckin' units or I'll break your friggin knees

Emcees don't even wanna battle me now

My put my lyrics up because I started knockin' bitches out

Interrupt rock sets from alternative bands

I snatch the mic and start beatin' till it's hurtin' my hands

Then I kick my wicked flows until the cops are called

I'll throw a bar stool and start a bar room brawl

As I run out the door, just before I jet

Don't forget to buy my album on CD or cassette

[Chorus]

I'm a dope emcee but a shitty self promoter

I'll sign a contract for a hoagie and soda

I'ma use force like as if my name was Yoda

Buy my shit quick man just do what I told ya

Can't work for a living gotta eat off this

Plus I gotta crib, and a wife, and a kid

I'ma shove in your face till you purchase it

Just buy my friggin album bitch!

[Verse 2]

Don't be a cheap fuck it's just 11.99

And it's worth it, I ain't sayin' that because it's mine

If it's whack, don't even think you'll get your money back

You and your boys can make fun of it, yo I like it when you crack

Take a bat, and use the thing for batting practice man smash it

I don't give a fuck man fuckin' bash it you can have it

I really don't care man just purchase the shit

I really don't feel like havin' to hurt you bitch

But I will, so find a way to cop my shit quick

Before I find you first, and beat 'cha fat ass wit a stick

Go on Carson Daily's show and request my video

"You ain't got one" I know, just fuckin' do it yo

The radio don't play me and I got no distribution

Ima walk into Land Speed and just start shootin'

I can't sell cds even in my own city

Ima change my name to Q stiggy and start actin' jiggy

I got promo posters as wall paper in my crib

And I wonder why no one's ever heard of my shit

If I went out and promoted I could probably sell a record

But instead I'll just sit and scratch myself, hey yo check it

[Chorus]

If you don't go out and buy my cd

I'm gonna fuckin' kick your ass

I ain't even playin' wit 'chu

I am literally gonna knock you the fuck out

If you don't go out and buy the shit

Just fuckin' buy it man

You can afford it

What the fuck is wrong wit 'chu?

It's a fuckin' dope album man just pick it up

What 'chu mean you never heard of me?

It doesn't matter if you never heard of me

I'm fuckin' tellin' you now just buy the shit, what?