Why I'm F'd Up

[Chorus]

People wanna know why I'm so fucked up

Could it be because of the way I grew up

I didn't have much and times were tough

And I deal with this pain as a grown adult

[Verse 1]

Grownin' up was rough even though I had love

I came up in an environment with violence and drugs

My mom was an addict I was too young to see this

I be playin' doctor with the hypodermic needles

She told me not to touch'em they were for her boyfriend's medicine

I guess his sickness was addiction like hers it was heroin

I'd see the bruises on her face she'd tell me that she fell

Innocence prevailed and I believed her fairy tales

Sometimes I hear him hit her and I'd hide under the covers

Listen to the terrifying screams from my motha

Vowing that one day I'd be big enough to beat him

And now I am I hope to god that I don't ever meet'em

My father bailed out when I still a little infant

I see'em now and then but didn't know him what's the difference

He was an alcoholic anyway or so they say

So I guess I didn't need him in my life anyway

My mom got clean and sober when that boyfriend shit was over

Just a matter of time before it came back and took over

Growin' up in the projects on food stamps and welfare

Kids crackin' on my sneakers never had a new pair

Mom did remarry though when I was thirteen

But it seems that her dream man turned out to be a dope fiend

Another one, shootin' up and gettin' fucked up

And then yall wonder why I never been drunk or do drugs

And then in High school I fucked up I didn't pay attention

Fuck detention and suspension, I ain't doin' this I'm jettin'

At 16 my whole world came to a halt

I lost my mother to the devil and I felt it was my fault

She was all that I had, now I'm sittin' all alone

16 years old trying to make it on my own

Ain't never graduated cuz I didn't even bother

Man I coulda been somebody if I tried a little harder

Workin' full time for a minimum wage

Wishin' I was on stage it wasn't just a faze

Dreaming of being the next rap star sensation

I broke the hell out and took a permanent vacation

Depression hittin' harder yeah I even thought of suicide

Its do or die, and I ain't doin' shit so I don't even try and

Gettin' high is all the peeps around me seem to do

And I ain't goin' that route, so I always stay true

But now life is good I gotta wife that I love

And a son in my world and I ain't fuckin' this up

So there you have it now ya know why I'm so fucked up

And how a troubled child grows up a troubled adult

But now I gotta chance to do things right for my son

Keep him safe from these drugs and these thugs packin' guns

I'll make it in this world and I ain't going to go and quit

Channel all this negative into positive shit

[Chorus] - 5X