I'm Just Your Charles Grodin

Empty promises on exotic prom dates

A platonic lover's leap

I haven't been this excited

Since I met my trophy wife on Delancey St.

Pregnancy or change the sheets

I'd choose the latter

But it's whatever to me

I need to surround myself

With people who still think coke's a big deal

The last I heard

She's sticking ecstasy up her ass

I heard it kicks in faster

You got to finish me first

Or else it'll hurt

Then it's the ole' curfew dodge

Pregnancy or change the sheets

I'd choose the latter

But it's whatever to me

I never want to smell

Like last night again

I'll try repeating myself

In a different way

Or saying it in

Another language

I'd have to learn

It first