Page type: lyric reference
Artist: Rachel Bloom
Canonical path: /rachel-bloom/press-conference
Related lyric paths: 6
Video embedded: yes
Lyric guide
Press Conference
Read Press Conference lyrics by Rachel Bloom on LyroVerse, with linked artist context and related song paths.
person
Curated by Ethan Walker
LyroVerse team
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Lyrics
Press Conference
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[RACHEL]
Hello
Thank you all for coming out today
At this time, I will be holding my weekly press conference
For the negative voices inside my head
First question
Yes, you?
[DANNY]
Hi, Danny Giles, negative voice, Whoop-Dee-Doo Times
Uh, what makes you think you're so special? Whoop dee doo
[RACHEL]
Uh, I actually don't think I'm special
Next question
[KEITH]
Keith Willard, negative voice, Nagging Fears Bugle
Um, who the fuck do you think you're kidding?
[RACHEL]
You know, I actually feel really good about myself
I have a new album coming out, so yeah, I've met a lot of goals this year
[KEITH]
Follow-up question
What do you think 13-year-old you would say
If she knew that instead of doing Shakespeare in the Park
She's making songs about dicks?
[RACHEL]
I think she'd be really proud of me
Next question
[JACK]
Jack Dolgen, Weight Weekly
Can you confirm rumors from the stomach that all you've eaten today is frosting?
[RACHEL]
No comment
[KEITH]
Can you confirm rumors from the clitoris
That today you've masturbated four times
To the mere thought of a billboard you thought you saw for Hot in Cleveland?
[RACHEL]
Wendie Malick is like a fine wine, not my fault
Next question
[MOTHER]
Rachel, this is your mother with the Disappointing Daughter Sunday Times Magazine
Do you really think you'll ever measure up to your sister
And her award-winning chicken restaurant?
[FATHER]
This is your father with the Why the Fuck Are You So Fat Tribune
Why the fuck are you so fat?
[RACHEL]
I don't know why I'm so fat, Dad!
[GOBBLER SPECIAL]
Rachel, this is the Gobbler Special
The dish at your sister's restaurant that Zagat called, and I quote
The best piece of chicken I have ever tasted
[RACHEL]
Yes?
[GOBBLER SPECIAL]
You're a whore
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Who performs "Press Conference"?
Rachel Bloom performs "Press Conference", and this lyric page sits inside the Rachel Bloom catalog on LyroVerse.
Are there related songs to explore after "Press Conference"?
Yes. The related section below points to Die When I'm Young and Ghost Snake with a short reason for opening each page next.
Where can I find more songs by Rachel Bloom?
Use the artist link near the top of the page or the related paths section below to keep moving through Rachel Bloom's lyric pages.
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