A Few Words

I'd like to say a few words

In defense of our country

Whose people aren't bad nor are they mean

Now the leaders we have

While they're the worst that we've had

Are hardly the worst this poor world has seen

Let's turn history's pages, shall we?

Take the Caesars for example

Why within the first few of them

They were sleeping with their sister

Stashing little boys in swimming pools

And burning down the City

And one of 'em, one of 'em

Appointed his own horse Consul of the Empire

That's like vice president or something

That's not a very good example, is it?

But wait, here's one, the Spanish Inquisition

They put people in a terrible position

I don't even like to think about it

Well, sometimes I like to think about it

Just a few words in defense of our country

Whose time at the top

Could be coming to an end

Now we don't want their love

And respect at this point

is pretty much out of the question

But in times like these

We sure could use a friend

Hitler. Stalin.

Men who need no introduction

King Leopold of Belgium. That's right.

Everyone thinks he's so great

Well he owned The Congo

He tore it up too

He took the diamonds, he took the gold

He took the silver

Know what he left them with?

Malaria

A President once said,

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself"

Now it seems like we're supposed to be afraid

It's patriotic in fact and color coded

And what are we supposed to be afraid of?

Why, of being afraid

That's what terror means, doesn't it?

That's what it used to mean

[To the first eight bars of

"Columbia The Gem Of The Ocean"]

You know it pisses me off a little

That this Supreme Court is gonna outlive me

A couple of young Italian fellas

and a brother on the Court now too

But I defy you, anywhere in the world

To find me two Italians as tightass

as the two Italians we got

And as for the brother

Well, Pluto's not a planet anymore either

The end of an empire is messy at best

And this empire is ending

Like all the rest

Like the Spanish Armada adrift on the sea

We're adrift in the land of the brave

And the home of the free

Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.