Funny Honey

[ROXIE]

Sometime's I'm right

Sometime's I'm wrong

But he doesn't care

He'll String along

He loves me so

That funny honey of mine

Sometime's I'm down

Sometime's I'm up

But he follows 'round

Like some droopy-eyed pup

He love me so

That sunny honey of mine

He ain't no sheik

That's no great physique

Lord knows, he ain't got the smarts

Oh, but look at that soul

I tell you, the whole

Is a whole lot greater than

The sum of his parts

And if you knew him like me

I know you'd agree

What if the world

Slandered my name?

Why, he'd be right there

Taking the blame

He loves me so

And it all suits me fine

That funny, sunny, honey

Hubby of mine

[AMOS (Spoken)]

A man's got a right to protect his home

and his loved ones, right?

[FOGARTY (Spoken)]

Of course, he has.

[AMOS (Spoken)]

Well, I came in from the garage, Officer, and I

see him coming through the window. With my

wife Roxanne there, sleepin'...like an angel...

[ROXIE]

He loves me so

That funny honey of mine

[AMOS (Spoken)]

...an angel!

[AMOS (Spoken)]

I mean supposin', just supposin', he had violated

her or somethin'...you know what I mean...

viloated?

[FOGARTY (Spoken)]

I know what you mean...

[AMOS (Spoken)]

...or somethin'. Think how terrible that would have been.

It's a good thing I came home from work on time, I'm tellin' ya that! I say I'm tellin' ya that!

[ROXIE]

He loves me so

That funny honey of mine

[FOGARTY (Spoken)]

Name of deceased... Fred Casely.

[AMOS (Spoken)]

Fred Casely. How could he be a burglar?

My wife knows him! He sold us our furniture!

[ROXIE]

Lord knows he ain't got the smarts

[AMOS (Spoken)]

She lied to me. She told me he was a burglar!

[FOGARTY (Spoken)]

You mean he was dead when you got home?

[AMOS (Spoken)]

She had him covered with a sheet and she's givin'

me that cock and bull story abou this burglar, and

I ought to say that I did it 'cause I was sure to get off.

Burglar, huh!

[ROXIE]

Now, he shot off his trap

I can't stand that sap

Look at him go

Rattin' on me

With just one more brain

What a half-wit he'd be

If they string me up

I'll know who

Brought the twine

[AMOS (Spoken)]

And I believed her!

That cheap little tramp. So, she

Was two-timing me, huh?

Well, then, she can just

Swing for all I care.

Boy, I'm down at the garage,

Working my butt off fourteen

Hours a day and she's up mucnhin'

on god-damn bon bons and jazzing.

This time she pushed me too far.

That little chiseler.

Boy, what I sap I was!

That scummy, crummy

Dummy hubby of mine!