La Vie Boheme (Life Cafe)

[Waiter]

No, please, no

Not tonight, please, no

Mister, can't you go

Not tonight

Can't have a scene

[Roger]

What?

[Waiter]

Go, please go

You

Hello, sir

I said no

Important customer

[Mark]

What am I, just a blur?

[Waiter]

You sit all night

You never buy!

[Mark]

That's a lie, that's a lie

I had a tea the other day

[Waiter]

You couldn't pay

[Mark]

Oh, yeah

[Collins]

Benjamin coffin the third here?

[Waiter]

Oh no

[All]

Wine and beer!

[Maureen]

The enemy of avenue a

We'll stay

[Waiter]

Oy vey!

[Collins]

What brings the mogul in his own mind to the life cafe?

[Benny]

I would like to propose a toast

To maureen's noble try

It went well

[Maureen]

Go to hell

[Benny]

Was the yuppie scum stomped

Not counting the homeless

How many tickets weren't comped

[Roger]

Why did muffy

[Benny]

Alison

[Roger]

Miss the show?

[Benny]

There was a death in the family

If you must know

[Angel]

Who died?

[Benny]

Our akita

[Benny, Mark, Angel & Collins]

Evita

[Benny]

Mimi, I'm surprised

A bright and charming girl like you

Hangs out with these slackers

Who don't adhere to deals

They make fun, yet I'm the one

Attempting to do some good

Or do you really want a neighborhood

Where people piss on your stoop every night?

Bohemia, bohemia's a fallacy in your head

This is calcutta

Bohemia is dead

[Mark]

Dearly beloved

We gather here to say our goodbyes

[Collins & Roger]

Dies irae, dies illa

Kyrie eleison

Yitgadal veyitkadash

[Mark]

Here she lies, no one knew her worth

The late great daughter of mother earth

On this night when we celebrate the birth

In that little town of bethlehem

We raise our glass, you bet your ass, to

La vie bohème

[All]

La vie bohème

La vie bohème

La vie bohème

La vie bohème

[Mark]

To days of inspiration

Playing hooky

Making something out of nothing

The need to express

To communicate

To going against the grain

Going insane

Going mad

To loving tension, no pension

To more than one dimension

To starving for attention

Hating convention

Hating pretension

Not to mention, of course

Hating dear old mom and dad

To riding your bike

Midday past the three-piece suits

To fruits

To no absolutes

To absolut

To choice

To the village voice

To any passing fad

To being an us, for once

Instead of a them

[All]

La vie bohème

La vie bohème

[Maureen]

Is the equipment in a pyramid?

[Joanne]

It is, maureen

[Maureen]

The mixer doesn't have a case

Don't give me that face

[Mr. Grey]

Ahem

[Maureen]

Hey, mister

She's my sister

[Waiter]

So that's five miso soup

Four seaweed salad

Three soy burger dinner

Two tofu dog platter

And one pasta with meatless balls

[A boy]

Ew

[Collins]

It tastes the same

[Mimi]

If you close your eyes

[Waiter]

And thirteen orders of fries

Is that it here?

[All]

Wine and beer!

[Mimi & Angel]

To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries

To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese

To leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo

To huevos rancheros and maya angelou

[Maureen & Collins]

Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion

Creation, vacation

[Mark]

Mucho masturbation

[Maureen & Collins]

Compassion, to fashion, to passion

When it's new

[Collins]

To sontag

[Angel]

To sondheim

[Four people]

To anything taboo

[Collins & Roger]

Ginsberg, dylan, cunningham, and cage

[Collins]

Lenny bruce

[Roger]

Langston hughes

[Maureen]

To the stage

[Person #1]

To uta

[Collins]

To buddha

[Person #4]

Pablo neruda, too

[Mark & Mimi]

Why dorothy and toto went over the rainbow

To blow off auntie em

[All]

La vie bohème

[Maureen]

And wipe the speakers off before you pack

[Joanne]

Yes, maureen

[Maureen]

Well, hurry back

(They kiss)

[Mr. Grey]

Sisters?

[Maureen]

We're close

[Angel, Collins, Mark & Mr. Grey]

Brothers!

[Mark, Angel, Mimi & Three others]

Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens

Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men

Pee-wee herman

German wine, turpentine, gertrude stein

Antonioni, bertolucci, kurosawa

Carmina burana

[All]

To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasy

Vaclav havel, the sex pistols, 8bc

To no shame, never playing the fame game

[Collins]

To marijuana

[All]

To sodomy

It's between God and me

To s & m

[Benny]

Waiter, waiter, waiter!

[All]

La vie bohème

[Collins]

In honor of the death of bohemia

An impromtu salon will commence immediately following dinner

Mimi marquez, clad only in bubble wrap

Will perform her famous lawn chair-handcuff dance

To the sounds of iced tea being stirred

[Roger]

And mark cohen will preview his new documentary

About his inability to hold an erection on high holy days

[Mark]

Maureen Johnson, back from her spectacular one-night engagement

At the eleventh street lot, will sing native American tribal chants backwards through her vocoder, while accompanying herself on the electric cello

Which she has never studied

[Benny]

Your new boyfriend doesn't know about us

[Mimi]

There's nothing to know

[Benny]

Don't you think that we should discuss

[Mimi]

It was three months ago

[Benny]

He doesn't act like he's with you

[Mimi]

We're taking it slow

[Benny]

Where is he now?

[Mimi]

He's right, hmm

[Benny]

Uh huh

[Mimi]

Where'd he go?

[Mark]

And roger will attempt to write a bittersweet, evocative song

(Roger picks up a guitar and plays)

That doesn't remind us of musetta's waltz

[Collins]

Angel dumott schunard will model the latest fall fashions from Paris

While accompanying herself on the 10 gallon plastic pickle tub

[Angel]

And collins will recount his exploits as anarchist

Including the tale of the successful reprogramming of the MIT

Virtual reality equipment to self-destruct, as it broadcasts the words

[All]

Actual reality, act up , fight AIDS!

[Benny]

Check

[Mimi]

Excuse me, did I do something wrong?

I get invited, then ignored all night long

[Roger]

I've been trying, I'm not lying

No one's perfect, I've got baggage

[Mimi]

Life's too short, babe, time is flying

I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine

[Roger]

I should tell you

[Mimi]

I've got baggage too

[Roger]

I should tell you

[Mimi & Roger]

Baggage

Wine

[Others]

And beer!

[Mimi]

Azt break

[Roger]

You?

[Mimi]

Me. You?

[Roger]

Mimi