Elon Musk Is Making Me Sad

Let me tell you a tale about a rivalry

Grab an Eagle Number Two and keep the score

There were these two young boys that came from average broken homes

With all the luxuries the middle class affords

Oh, Lord

Elon’s making me so sad cause I calculated the math

Of our birthdates

And I had a head start out of the start gate

Two years plus eighty-six days

But that all went to waste

Oh, Elon you’re making me so sad

'Cause the race that I wanted to have was not much of a race

And I tried, Love

And for a moment I thrived, Love

But could not keep my stride up to keep pace

But for a second, there’s no question, I had the lead in '95

I mismanaged my advantage

Like a rocket ship he blasted by

To incredible heights

Incredible heights

In nineteen eighty-two, on Christmas day

Santa gave us each a brand-new Commodore

I used mine to make fake I. D. ’s and buy beer in junior high

While my foe studied every bit of that 8bit whore

Are you keeping score?

'Cause Elon’s making me so sad cause I calculated the math

Of our birthdates

And I had a head start out of the start gate

Two years plus eighty-six days

But that all went to waste

Oh, Elon you’re making me so sad

'Cause the race that I wanted to have was not much of a race

And I tried, Love

For a moment I thrived, Love

But could not keep my stride up to keep pace

But for a second, there’s no question, I had the lead in '95

I mismanaged my advantage

Like a rocket ship he blasted by

To incredible heights

When it’s time to say goodbye

What will they write on my tombstone?

Just that last little line from the Happy Days Video

Not so good, Jonze

Hey, Elon! (Hey, Elon!) I don’t know what I have become (Hey, Elon!)

I need someone to help change my fate

I think you can save me! (Can you save me? I think you can save me!)

Do you think you can save me? Do you have the power to help me escape?

Oh, Elon! Let me be the first one, of your new civilization

To be saved

Yes! I’ll try, Love!

I swear to you I can thrive, Love!

This time I’ll keep my stride up and keep pace

Only you can change my Q-score!

Make me the first one out of that door

First boots out on the Martian Floor to proclaim

Oh, that Elon!

Sent me all the way, Son

A hundred thirty-nine million miles away!

Elon! Send me away; send me away!

Elon, send me away (Tell me I’m saved!)

Elon! Tell me I’m saved; tell me I’m saved!

Elon tell me I’m saved

(Send me away!)

You have the power to save, you have the power to save me!

You have the power to save, you have the power to save me!

And then I will say, I went to Mars and won the race!

Yeah, I will say, I took first place!

Oh, I rode that Old Heart of Gold the whole way

And in the end, hey, won the race!

Oh, oh! Elon! Let me win the race; win the race!

Oh, Elon! Let me take first place!

Elon! Tell me I am saved; I am saved! Elon tell me I am saved!

You have the power to save; you have the power to save me!

(Elon, tell me I am saved!)

You have the power to save; you have the power to save me!

(Tell me I am saved!)

You have the power to save me! You have the power to save me! (Send me away!)

You have the power to save!