5 Years To Write

This vulnerability is kiling me internally

Not feeling much stability and I wish it could be easy

But it dont seem to be and so, I'm going to take it to the only place that i know to go

And lay these feelings in the hand of the creator

God of creation You show me how to relate to her

Meanwhile, I'm thanking You for lessons being learned

See my feelings have been shallow but I've watched my heart turn

Yes, she looks good, yes she looks fly

But deep down I know there's something more inside

Just like I'm praying that there's more in me

So when I look at she I just don't see naturally

Not saying physically, that I'll deny the attraction, but all in all that's just a simple satisfaction

That can be obtained through a glance of the eye

This was five years ago, man how time flies by

Beautiful soul full of spirit

I wonder if she'd hear it if I told her that she had a

Beautiful soul full of spirit

A few year later...

Her mind intrigues me

It leaves me sort of sick

Wondering what makes the mystery chic tick, history thick of pages and pages

Telling stories that can't be summed up in quick phrases

She's observant so she's seen my behavior

It's got me nervous wanting to stay away from her

I pray for her daily as well as perspective,

Battling with pride and thoughts of being rejected

And that's just not appealing

It's almost enough to make you disconnect your fellings or something

And try to move on and give them to someone else but yet

I care for her more than I care for myself

Man who needs this

I'm not even good with commitments

Plus I value my independence

In the end it's probably just a waste of time spent

Or maybe there's something more to this relationship

What's the point of caring when it hurts so much

If this is what love comes with I'd rather not touch it

In all honesty the outcome is uncertain

And I do run the risk of walking away hurting

Searching for clarity, spare me the dispair

I'd rather be alone and not even care

Than to share my trust because you can't control fate

So maybe I'll be alone but at least it's safe

I know that's stupid

Probably my insecurity

Or maybe God is using this to get through to me

Because in the back of my mind I'm always aware of her

Pushing me towards prayer and bettering my character

Making me think about the man I want to become

Regardless of the situation's outcome

Fast forward a few years into my life

Man this song about my wife took me five years to write