Johnny's Far Away

Johnny's joined a ceilidh band,

They're known quite well throughout the land, the drones

The drones are signed up on a cruise

While tracey's laying in the booze back home

She's got herself another man, a smoothie

While the kids are in the front room watching movies

She's got him in a head lock, in an arm lock, in a jam

She says, i can't express myself with my old man

While johnny's far away on the rolling, rolling

Johnny's far away on the rolling sea

Johnny's cruising out to sea

And he believes in chastity - for some

The wealthy widows bill and coo

He fends off one or two, and then succumbs

As they're turning hard-a-port in the bahamas

He's turning her right out of her pyjamas

He's turned her every which way to the rhythm of the sea

He says, i can't express myself with my old lady

While johnny's far away on the rolling, rolling

Johnny's far away on the rolling sea

Johnny's home, he opens up his door

While someone's sneaking out the back

And tracey says, you look so poorly

Sores and all, you need to see the quack

She wipes the snot from off the kiddies' noses

He charms her with eleven battered roses

And by and by they get down to the job of man and wife

Back to the old comforts of the missionary life

While johnny's far away on the rolling, rolling

Johnny's far away on the rolling sea