Psycho street

A man sits down to write a letter, but instead he writes a book

The book begins -

Dear Sir, I don't if you're interested but you're wife is a whore

A man gets on a train and proceeds to take all his clothes off

He begins to play with himself, and he says

"In my country, this is definitely not offensive"

A man pours petrol through his neighbour's letterbox

And throws in a match

The house is engulfed in flames

As the neighbours jump from the upstairs window

He films the whole thing on video

He plays it back to them later in hospital

"Things have been pretty dull at home without you" he says

A man pushes a lawn mower two hundred miles on his knees

To the tomb of the unknown gardener

"Great one" he cries "I've done my penance. I bring my offering.

Grant me, grant me, grant me, pest-free roses"

Psycho Street, friendly people down on Psycho Street

Good neighbours down on Psycho Street

And if you need a hand, need a friend, we understand

And if you need a pal, we'll be there, anyhow

Psycho Street, Psycho Street, Psycho Street

A man stakes his neighbour's cat to the barbecue and turns on the gas

"Now are you going to talk" he says

"Or am I going to have to get nasty?"

A man has an inflatable doll made

That looks exactly like his wife

He murders his wife, dissolves her body in acid

And marries the doll

Three years later, he leaves her for another doll

A man hands his son a brick and says

"Son, throw this brick through the greenhouse next door"

The boy does

The boy next door throws one back

It hits the man on the head and mortally wounds him

"Ah well" he says, as his life blood trickles away

"Boys will be boys"

A thoughtful woman sends her best friend a parcel

Inside, it says, is a free sample, full body beauty treatment

But really it contains acids and chemicals

When her friend tries it, her hair falls out,

Her face is wrinkled and her body scarred

The thoughtful woman turns to her husband and winks

And says "Pre-emptive strike"

Psycho Street, friendly people down on Psycho Street

Good neighbours down on Psycho Street

If you need a hand, need a friend, we understand

And if you need a pal, we'll be there, anyhow

Oh Psycho Street, Psycho Street, Psycho Street

Psycho Street, Psycho Street, Psycho Street