I Wanna Be A Boss

I been doodlin' on this notepad

And I been takin' telephone calls

I can tell this job's at the end of the line

And I'm ready for the fall

But I been watchin' the boss carefully

and he always seems to be havin' a ball

And then I scratch my head and wonder

Why I'm down here and he's up the hall...

All of my paychecks aren't worth

The paper they're printed on

I get 'em Friday

And Monday they're all gone

There must be some way

To change my situation

It's time that I took up

A brand new vocation

I wanna take a two week vacation

26 times a year (add 'em up)

When I go to exotic places

My jet will be a Leer

I'll need several secretaries

Just to jot down notes

I'll wear Gucci loafers

And expensive shirts

And blue executive, exotic coats

I, I said I wanna be a boss

Well I''ll drive in fancy cars

No, well maybe I'll just cruise

With a limo and a chaufer

TV, telephone and booze

Tinted windows so the common folk

Can't see me here inside

Maybe every now and then for fun

I'll give some old coot a ride

Then maybe I'll slip 'em

A thousand dollar bill

The he'll smile and shake my hand

And I'll put him in my will

I'm gonna count up all my widgets

And digits and all my stuff

I'll make millions in a day

But it'll never be enough

Nope...not enough

'Cause I, I said I wanna be a boss

Now if I find a product I like

I'll buy up the whole company

Then I'll shave my face and grin

And smile and sell it on TV

And everyone will know me

I'll be more famous that Howard Hughes

I'll grow a long beard

And watch "Ice Station Zebra" in the nude

And grow my nails like Fu Man Chu

And keep a row of specimen jars

Get other people to work for me

Well no...maybe I'll buy

The planet Mars

And build an amusement park up there

Better than old Walt's place

You'll have to be a millionaire to go

And we'll smoke cigars

And lounge in lace

And talk the talk of businessmen

And bosses that we are

So here's to me

The drinks are free

'Cause I just bought this bar...