PharmaRusical

Better living through fake science

(Welcome to Ru-co labs)

The future is now and it’s freaking me out

(Welcome to Ru-co labs)

They always say consult your doctor

Before taking a new medicine

But what the hell do they know

Tell it like it is girl

What we got in stock?

We got tablets, drops, patches and shots

We got liquids that can take you from whatever you got

Have a sip, have a slurper, if you can still swallow, a hand full of promises

Even though they’re hollow

Here at Ru-co labs we’ve worked so hard

To make these drugs help you with your strife

So check out these pills we’re tuckin

Cause honey they’re here to give you life

(Welcome to Ru-co labs, yah)

O. M. G

What? What’s wrong?

Boys don’t make passes at queens with flat asses

What can I do about it?

Say goodbye padding and hello to badonkadonk

And it makes yo ass get a lot humps

It comes in a patch snuffed down by your snatch

If it’s a good batch then it starts to hatch

Badonkadonk, watch out J-Lo, watch out nicki, watch out Kandy K

Cause we about to break the Internet every other day

Got a new power bottom and it’s on display

It’s got its own zip code by the way 9-0-2-1

Oh, that’s a big old ass

My backside looks like a mountain pass

Badonkadonks now available on the go

In a perky powder that looks a lot like snow

Put it in your salad or a cold ice tea

Don’t snort it up your nose this ain’t 1983

Badonkadonks

Hey Sandy haven’t seen you at the club lately

Yeah well, I spent most of my summer working on my Drag Race audition

That’s not what I heard, I heard you’ve been poppin out at parties

You don’t mean? Sandy, no!

Used to rule the clubs but now I’m stuck at home

Suffering from a case of restless tuck syndrome

Cause when I see a stud in a tuck that’s cropped

I can’t get in my drag cause my tuck gets popped

But now there’s a solution made by Ru-co Inc

A handy little pill that makes your junk shrink

So easy once a month just open up your say aww

When life gets to hard just take some Flaccida

(Flaccida, Flaccida)

Flaccida saved my life and now I love it oodles

Even around the pit crew I feel nothing noodles

(Flaccida)

Now illegal in forty-eight states

Here’s the tee about that old queen on Twitter

You know that hateful bitch that’s always so bitter

She says that Gaga stole it all from Madonna

What’s next, adopting kids from Botswana?

She wears caftans and moo moos, just like a idol, what she have in her gym bag?

Viagra and midol, kids today are down hill post Mariah

And who’s that new girl names Zendaya?

Do you suffer from bitter old queen syndrome?

Ru-co labs has a spray for dat

Trollvada spray a spritz a dab under your old under thigh

And soon you’ll be taking snapchats of your avocado toast

For the love of Cathleen turner, what is happening?

Huh, omy God, I’m obsessed with Miley’s new single

What’s the new dating app I’m ready to mingle

I’m gender fluid and not into labels, cutting boards and getting rid of cable

I don’t just sit at dinner tables anymore, I flip ‘em

Thanks Conflama

(That bitch is crazy)

I haven’t had a sip of wine in three years, why?

Because now I throw it in people’s faces!

Thanks Conflama

Conflama, it’s conflict plus drama

You know what that equals right?

Dolla signs

It’s what every reality stars got

Conflama I put two teaspoons in my coffee every morning

Good to the last death drop

(Conflama, find a way to pull up tonight, Conflama)

Bitch, I’m from Chicago

(Conflama, won’t go home till we start a fight, Conflama)

This ain’t RuPaul’s Best Friends Race

(Conflama)

Go back to party city where you belong

Bitch, the song is over

Don’t you tell me when the song is over

(Conflama, it’s working)

What did Tinderella say when she got to the ball?

Choking violently

Oh dear Tinderella, why are u gagging so?

What could I do, I bit off more than I could chew

It’s my great defect, I have terminal gag reflex

Feeling stressed, choked a distant, gag reflex is so persistente

Ru-co labs has a potion you can drink up any ocean

Now there’s Swalloweve

(Lalalalalalalala)

Swalloweve

Swalloweve is for princesses twenty-one and older

And does not prevent the spread of STDs

Side effects include increased bitchyness, an unquenchable thirst

Lower credit scores and total austigmization

Thanks to Swalloweve I’ll be ready whenever my prince comes

(Swalloweve)

Did you see her shoes?

(Yass queen)

Queen 1: Aren’t they so tacky?

(Yass queen)

Queen 1: Can you stop saying that?

(Yass queen)

I don’t think you can?

(Bitch, what do you mean?)

Some queens are so annoying, they’re voices are really cloying

Repeating the same words falling out they’re lips like turds

Oh gurl, you got Drag mouth, it’s a bit problimary

You need to read a book like right now

And up your vocabular

But now there’s a fix when you come and go South

All you gotta do is put this Caulk in your mouth

Caulk, as in C-A-U-L-K get your mind out of the gutter

Anyone can use it including straights, bis and gays

It stops your loose lips from shouting drag cliches

Side effects include but are not limited to yass queen

Damn now I got it

Good God, get a grip gurl, okur-r-r-r-r

There’s a question, burns deep in my soul

One that you, can only control

From your lips to God’s ear, there’s an answer we all need to hear

Tell me is there an anal option

What’s right for others ain’t right for me, what I’m asking is biology

RuPaul is there an anal option for me

(For me, for me, for me, for me, me too)

Five out of four doctors don’t recommend Ru-co labs

So kids just don’t drugs

Just love yourself so you can love somebody else

Can I get an amen?

Amen