Rats: The Rusical

Can you fit up a drainpipe?

Scavenge the bins?

Have 6. 000 babies?

Trial new medicines?

Can you slip in the toilet?

Spread death and disease?

Do you eat your own feces?

Mmm, better than cheese

Do you like biting children?

I live in disgrace

Let's terrorize humans

It's time to infest

We're the rat attack brats

Forgettable rats

Parasitic rats

Satanical rats

Rat attack rats

Scum of the night

Nauseating

And ready to fight

CGI's a mess

And we have human hands

What the hell is going on here?

No one understands

Um, excuse me

My name's Jane

And I'm a little lost

My owner's just flushed me

Down the toilet

Ugh, quit squeaking, kid

I'm Scat Rat

This is Scabies

We're the hood rats

That run these streets

We only care about

RuPaul's Rat Race

RuPaul's Rat Race

Whiskers twitchin'

RuPaul's Rat Race

May the best rodent win

Ho-ho-ho-hold up

Rewind that track

Rat-egory is

Bring It To The Subway

Subway, Su-su-su-subway

Whiskers, fur, claw, nose

Coming for y'all rat hos

Despot sex, tail for days

Sick bitches, and watch me slay

Eenie, meenie, miney, mo

Bitch, house rats got nowhere to go

I'm the big cheese, don't scatter, please

Gonna win this race, give the crown to me

Rat-a-tat-rat, rat-a-tat-rat

Rat-a-tat-rat, rat

Rat-a-tat-rat, rat-a-tat-rat

Rat-a-tat-rat, rat

RuPaul's Rat Race

May the best rodent

Best rodent win

What is this, exactly?

Is this a movie or a stage show?

Andrew Lloyd Webber would never greenlight this mess

What am I meant to do with this?

Who are they?

Ugh

Ugh

They're the rat pack

AKA

The extras

The extras

We all thought Rats

Would be a huge success

But looks like we signed up

To a real hot mess

Now that Oscar's out of sight

We can't leave now until it's morning light

The running time's

Too long

The CGI's

All wrong

Can we have a rewrite?

I don't think we can

We really, really, really need a back-up plan

Back-up plan, back-up plan

Can we save this movie?

I don't think we can

None of this is real, it's all special effects

I'm not too sure it does the final checks

My bare arse came out on screen

The rat pack big shot had to leave

The scale is wrong

All wrong

They made my tail

Too long

Can we have another movie?

I don't think we can

We really, really, really need a back-up plan

Can we save this movie?

I don't think we can

Everybody, quick

It's Depravity and her pesky sidekick Diphtheria

Oops!

Dysentery!

Wrong Rusical!

I'm the psycho killer

Rat thumb on the trigger

I'll destroy your babies

My bite will give you scabies

I'm the rat castrator

Planning to kill you later

I will feast your dinner

Eat you up and lick you away

Now I set my trap

I'll get you for that

Now I set my trap

I'll get you, little rat

I'm the sick and twisted rat

That's been blacklisted

I'll kill all the rats

Feed them all to the cats

Now I set my trap, whoo

I'll get you for that

Now I set my trap

I'll get you, little rat

They've ratted on us!

Quick, get out of here!

Wow

Uh-huh

Rat got your tongue?

Who are you?

My name is Evita von Fleas

Wait, but isn't that a different Rusical, too?

Oh, it's all so confusing!

Oh, don't cry for me

This is a way better part

Hit it!

Yes

The second you get a skin rash

Feeling like you're about to have a seizure

It's the rat-bite fever

So trashy, so sexy

Hey, won't you fill me in on how to get so sweaty

Ooh, ahh

Let me just spill you the tea

I'll flash a nipple, I'm your filthy fantasy

Swing it, baby

Rat-bite fever

Rat-bite fever

Rat-bite fever

Rat-bite fever

Spread your legs and make 'em pee

Cover yourselves

My name is Dame Doody Stench

And this Rusical ain't over

Until the last fat lady sings

It's Specimen One!

The oldest lab rat!

She's got a few memory problems

So I'll help her with this next one

All alone in the drainpipes

She dreams of an uncaged life

She was sickening then

With frazzled fur and itchy with scuzz

The nights keep getting colder

Keep back, hold your distance

Disease is taking over

Stroke me

Who cares about hygiene?

Just look at my mammaries

Please ignore all the pus

Just a lab rat, a lonely rat

Who yearns to be loved

Look, my tail has fallen off

Death drop! Oh!

Shablam!

Eew!

Eew!

It's RuPaul-dronomy

Who's that?

Oh, shut up!

Oh, shut up!

The time has come to announce the winner of RuPaul's Rat Race

10 rodents stand before me

Oh. Seven rodents stand before me

You've gotta be kidding

Two rodents stand before me

We did it!

We killed the bitches!

Oh, rats

The end

Be forewarned

We will be your masters