Absolution

I write in long hand to a short-term memory

Hopeless romantic, coarse word tendencies

Right now i don't want to wake up

Or try to forget when the storm first entered me

Lately i've felt self destructive

Self-inflicted, self help the cuts with

Shellshocked, hell's bells and trumpets

Self-taught to tell tales in public

Of this life, same shit but different day

I write it down, same shit in different ways

Fight it now, break fists against the cage

Until i climb on that slave ship and drift away

My blood boils (in cups) the sun spoils (abrupt)

And unloyal (with love) so come toil (with us)

The sun freezes (and cuts) in some seasons (and plus)

Its untreated (so trust) i'm done bleeding

In a place where i can be and touch all of the things i see

To find my peace and i can breathe with nobody looking back at me

I'll just take a breath and place my bets but never deal

'til i face my death with a game of chess like seventh seal

I'll still fight the stepdads and memories

Scream zion 'til deaf dance to melodies

Deadpanned with setbacks and jealousy

Until hea-ven ex-pands the hell in me

Acquired conscious competence of all of my accomplishments

And conquered constant comments that contradicted my confidence

Common compliments were called upon to con me in

Accosted consonant comments that condescended all my common sense

Where i'm from, no one stays alive

You just die by the sword, a shogun's frame of mind

Walk with the rest like its dawn of the dead

And drink from the blood that the open veins provide

My raps are like a novel with clever style and prose

Im edgar allan poe, the casque of amontillado

Enter catacombs 'til clever palindromes

And letters that i wrote can capture the god apollo

Hear the secret stammers time'll tell

I rebel, they teach me manners with bible-belt

Schtick, psychadellic, dreams of banter

Scenes of candor i embellish

Like a zombie that eats through tissue

Until i find a heart with a beat to spit to

If its not in the meat i sift through

I'll write it acapella on the piece i bit through

I'm savage, and its near the dead of night

Wait 'til the sun paints an iridescent sky

To head the deadened cries

Of an old boy given no choice but to fear the present time

Take the reigns, i'm sick and tired of the practice

Of burnin' bridges, i lit the fire with a matchstick

Return the image to where i'm at, cuz thinking back

I've been sinking fast, and tripping wires where the sands quick

Across plains with bloody palms and jaw pains

Hiding from god's grace in fright like its pompeii

And always, i'll just stay on the lost road

While you study crucifixes painted with barcodes

And this time, i'll just try my luck

Surrounded by these masks like it's eyes wired shut

And i might jump ship or i flip like it's my live bus

So i try trust with how it was or how it is when

Frowns insist sounds of love amount to this

Too proud to kiss so i sewed my lips shut

So love drowned within the open wrist cuts

At first its just a ride to live fast

Until i felt the bruises inside from whiplash

A purpose, i'll try to get that

Until i fall from grace and i die on impact

And intact was a single broken locket

With the ocean on its rustic chain and face that no one wanted

I'm growing nauseous from a world that never stops

When my center's lost hope in the ghost that haunted pentecost

I stand in graveyards and dance to take charge

Of concepts of death that i have to base on

Even when my bones crack i'll pace on

Through the epitaphs that my pasts engraved on

Laugh and stay strong, embrace the day

'till it fades away with this mask i paint on

She's probably just a bitch thats casting all the shadows

Laughing at my battles and following a trend

Searching for an angel at the bottom of a fifth

But my hands stay empty, i swallow it again

Its the loss of leaves that autumn brings

That show me these limbs are far from wings

I'm far from happy, you're far from peace

I'll fall from grace and you'll fall for me

And awkwardly i'll just change the posture

'till the aches and pains rearrange the monsters