November

Sometimes, i cant handle the cold

Ill break another heart too fragile to hold

Love dies, im standing alone,

Painting false hopes is a habit ive grown

Come find, why i said i dont love you

And instead i was humbled and content with the struggle

That you gave me, and said that i was crazy

Words became chains and love became safety

I saw trust until i lost the view...

And then i lost faith in us like i always do

I refused, to complement your weakness

Through all our ups and downs til i was sea-sick

...flashbacks i remember so well, we both held

In november, when the snow fell

But that changed, you were not a friend to me

I distorted and soon i lost identity

And when we fought and i tried to break the innocence

You said lies, and i became a hypocrite

You tried to hold the sadness when you grabbed tight

(but i moved on from the shadows of our past life)

You said you couldn't live if i ran away

But part of me died, anyway, when i had to stay

In a storm that i saw in groundview

And i couldn't find the i (eye), it was all about u (you)

Year one! i felt the dear sun

A brand new hope before the tears come

Year two! i see in clear view

Ashamed of myself when i am near you

Year three! i watch the stars fade

Im a zombie whos walking through a heartache

Year four! youre forever away and the sun now shines as my memories fade

All the feelings i have are hard to word

I cant see the problem, my vision starts to blur

Into an image of a violent struggle

Of a slow suicide since the time i loved you

Id, gladly die if youd pacify

But you need too many things that i cant provide, so

You looked for it inside another's arms

Lied through ya teeth and cried that nothings wrong

(it didn't stop) all the cryin in public

Or telling me im not the only guy you were fuckin!

But i gave in to all my fears instead

The only thing that ran more than me (were the tears you shed)

When you told me you cut inside ya flesh

Youre depressed and youd rather die instead

I could feel my heart tear to bits

(the first time ive cried ever since my parents split)

And i knew, there was no you and i

I kissed you goodbye, it felt like suicide

Ob a bond that was made to sever

When i turned my back on you and wouldn't face the weather

And for a moment, it felt like nothing mattered

Theres givers and theres takers, and youre just the latter

I needed help but i got a struggle

When i fell to pieces you couldn't solve the puzzle

(we wept in puddles) til we were lost at sea

(with regretful struggles) and a faded promise ring

Your hands were full cuz you seemed to hold grudges

While i chased both of our dreams through rosebushes, in november

Year one! i felt the dear sun

A brand new hope before the tears come

Year two! i see in clear view

Ashamed of myself when i am near you

Year three! i watch the stars fade

Im a zombie whos walking through a heartache

Year four! youre forever away and the sun now shines as my memories fade

I couldn't think to hold a single hope

So i pressed on my luck until my fingers broke

Im treading steps through quicksand of past love

To find closure from ice shoulders and hands touch

And my mind is still plagued with the fragrances

Of pain and bliss, and razorblades you made me grip

When id watch ya face with teary eyes

And i had to cut myself so i could feel alive, but

I found a place where the weather is much better now

In greener pastures, where the rain is never out

And ya face is replaced by another

November's leaves stay, but have changed for the summer

(and my) hope meddles (where i) go settle

In the line that blurs from love to rose petals

And the silence hurt, so i just followed through

On a beaten street, never reaching peaks which i saw in you

And now i see that you just took me for granted

Had a diamond in the rough and you still took me for granite

Cuz in november we gazed at sea scapes

With each wave, symbolizing things that wed make

Love and war we were born as keepsakes

To underscore loves accord when peace breaks, in november