The Exception To Everything

Beautiful and innocent, suitable and militant

Are scripted on the walls of the cubicle i'm living in

I'm different, if you take away that i'm gone

A heart on my sleeve, with a razorblade jacket on

In babylon i would hold my breath and listen close

To the ghosts of death the ocean kept when the winter froze

Skin and bones, is what my burly bag of flesh will hold

Digesting hope with another thirty pack as lexapro

Discomposed, from all the fuckin' ghosts that follow me

Across a battered path of shattered glass and broken arteries

It's oceanography the way the blood accumulates

I'm rude awake, with one eye open like homer's odyssey

And honestly, i don't need to make a difference

I just want to live my life without a fee to pay admission

Apathetic bliss in these apathetic days

Cuz i'm apathetic mixed with the pass aggressive ways

Anesthetic sprays from my tongue 'til the pain stops

I'm trying to figure out if this is blood or the raindrops

Love or a safe spot, think twice

While i take another shot until the angels start to sing like...

I've got a bone to pick with all these skeletons in closets

They're breaking down the barriers, embellishing my losses

And under all the verses, i wonder if it's worth it

And whether it's irrelevant, the elements are constant

No sleep and apparently a pen

Is the perfect combination for the therapy again

So i scribble in a pad 'til it carries me within

All the ripples in my past that i carefully attend

When all i got to do is take a look into my pedigree

And mentally amenities will make another memory

The penalties are lending me a bitter loss of energy

A destiny of inhibition until my wings will set me free, now

No time for regrets, keep moving forward and hope for the best

Its all gone, i'll say so long and never let go of what i hold in my chest

This is dedicated to the dedication left behind

Me, a dedicated mental patient on a bed of knives

I meant to find a certain person worthy of current purpose

Searching through the epitaphs to make the dead alive

And edify as i watch all the faces walking by

Painted with perplexing looks, abrasions and awkward eyes

Showing me to modify broken wings i've taught to fly

Often i go and dream of a place across the sky

Where i reside and dark breaks the light

Never stop moving, a sharks way of life

Set still as sparks drape the sky

And debt builds, a heart pays the price with

Love, pain, sun, rain, (i remember when my mother used to lie to me)

Hate, grace, blood stains (and i remember when my father used to lie to me)

Life, death, time, rest, (and i remember when my teachers used to lie to me)

This is my breath (and then they wonder why i have no faith in this society)

I can't find stability i lack the right ability

To act inside humility and magnify the will in me

Every time i try to be, satisfy or feel at ease

I'd rather be an actor and to act than try to deal with things

Until i fall and i hit the rock bottom

And i grieve with the leaves 'til i pray its not autumn

The blood starts to draw and it falls from the wrists

When the slits are across and i ball up a fists

So call it a gift but i'm not living for the present

When it all becomes the past and i can't listen to the questions

Isn't it a blessing when i feel like i'm alive

And i don't have to be another fucking cynic for a second

Even though i've never called it perfect

When i die, i want to know it all was worth it

I want to know that i tried my best with

Embracing every moment that i was blessed with

Every life, every death, every time that i wept

Every moment, every person, every line that i said

Every night, every day, every time every place

Every kiss, every wish, every side of the maze

Every cut, every bruise, every love that i'd lose

Every time that i broke and the times that i grew

Every drop of rain that these clouds would spew

To help form the man that i amounted to

And i'm thankful, that i am who i am

And i've been where i've been and i came out grateful

When it's finally time to make an exit

Just know, that i don't regret a single second

This is the exception to everything