Dr Freud

Oh, It Happened in Vienna, Not So Very Long Ago,

When Not Too Many Folks Were Getting Sick

That a Starving Young Physician Tried to Better His Position

By Discovering What Made His Patients Tick

Oh, Dr. Freud, Oh, Dr. Freud

How I Wish That You'd Been Otherwise Employed

For the Set of Circumstances Sure Enhances the Finances

of the Followers of Dr. Sigmund Freud

He Forgot About Sclerosis, But Invented the Psychosis

And a Hundred Ways That Sex Could Be Enjoyed

He Adopted As His Credo, "Down Repression, Up Libido"

And That Was the Start of Dr. Sigmund Freud

Now He Analyzed the Dreams of the Teens and Libertines

And He Substituted Monologues For Pills

He Drew Crowds Just Like Wells Sadler, When Along Came Jung &

Adler

Who Said, "By God, There's Gold in Them Thar Ills"

They Encountered no Resistance When They Served As Freud's

Assistants

As With Ego and With Id, They Deftly Toyed

And Instead of Toting Bedpans, They Bore Analytic Deadpans

Those Ambitious Doctors, Adler, Jung, and Freud

Now the Big Three Have Departed, Not So the Cult They Started

It's Been Carried On By Many a Goodly Band

And to Trauma, Shock, and More Shock, Someone Went and Added

Rorshach

Now the Thing Has Got Completely Out of Hand

Now Old Men With Double Chinseys and a Million Would Be Kinseys

Will Discuss It At the Drop of a Repression

I Wouldn't Be Complaining, But For All the Dough I'm Paying

To Lie On Someone's Couch and Say Confession