Bats

I met this bloke who looked like a goth

But soon found out that he was not

He was a genuine count from Transylvannia

He said, "Marry me, that's where I'll take ya"

To a ruined castle on top of a cliff

Where the air's so cold it would freeze your tits

And there he taught me how to fly

Two lovers together in a purple sky

And we had bats for dinner and bats for tea

Bats for him and bats for me

A big fat rat for Sunday roast

For breakfast, we had bats on toast

And when the cooking became a chore

We'd just chop them up and eat them raw

Or open a window facing south

And let them fly straight in our mouths

Bats for dinner, bats for tea

Bats for dinner, bats for tea

Bats for dinner, bats for tea

Bats for dinner, bats for tea

Bats for dinner, bats for tea

Bats for dinner, bats for tea

Bats for dinner, bats for tea

Bats for tea

The neighbours didn't like us much

They seemed to bear some sort of a grudge

Attacked the castle with flaming torches

Burned the stables and stole the Porsches

Then the local vicar, a miserable tart

Stuck a wooden stake through my boyfriend's heart

I escaped but I'm alone again

In a one-room flat in Sydenham

And there's no bats for dinner, no bats for tea

No bats from the caves or the belfry

It's peas and cabbage for Sunday roast

Or if I'm lucky, beans on toast

And when the cooking becomes a chore

I just chop them up and eat them raw

And think about of how things used to be

When there was just my count and me

There's no fairytale castles in the sky

But the room's so cold, it would make you cry

And still sometimes at night I fly

Over London's dark grey sky

And think of him in another world

And hope he's waiting for his girl

One day, united we will be

Together forever for eternity

And there'll be bats for dinner and bats for tea

Bats for him and bats for me

A big fat rat for Sunday roast

For breakfast we'll have bats on toast

And when the cooking became a chore

We'd just chop them up and eat them raw

Or open a window facing south

And let them fly straight in our mouths

Bats for dinner, bats for tea

Bats for dinner, bats for tea

Bats for dinner, bats for tea

Bats for tea (you'll surely die)

Bats for dinner, bats for tea

Bats for dinner, bats for tea

Bats for dinner, bats for tea

Bats for tea (you'll surely die)

Bats for dinner, bats for tea

Bats for dinner, bats for tea

Bats for dinner, bats for tea

Bats for tea

Bats for dinner, bats for tea

Bats for dinner, bats for tea

Bats for dinner, bats for tea

Bats for tea

Bats for dinner, bats for tea

Bats for dinner, bats for tea

Bats for dinner, bats for tea

Bats for tea

Bats for dinner, bats for tea

Bats for dinner, bats for tea

Bats for dinner, bats for tea

Bats for tea

Bats for dinner, bats for tea

Bats for dinner, bats for tea

Bats for dinner, bats for tea

Bats for tea

Bats for dinner, bats for tea

Bats for dinner, bats for tea

Bats for dinner, bats for tea

Bats for tea