Crazy Dan

This guy doused his wife in gasoline

Then he went and he set the bitch on fire

You see Crazy Dan was the name of the man

He was pretty much a high strung jerk and a liar

She didn't die just right away

She smoldered and she cried

And Dan the loon was heard to say

"I considered it a matter of pride"

Dan was such a stormy man

Apparently took all he could stand

So after dinner on that mournfull night

He tied her to a stake

Put to use a fucking god damn shit ass son of a bitch

And set ablaze her golden locks thus emersed himself in sin

Being as how they lived on a farm miles away from nowhere

Dan felt safe in his fiendish deed and figured no one would be aware

Now dan was sweatin from the heat of the woman

Her flames all bright and glowin

Alas the spectacle had a spectator

Someone peeked without Dan knowing

This peeking person no person at all was the figure of Dan's own conscience

But meanwhile beside his blazing bride Dan laughed and grunted grunts

Dan watched her fry with a gleam in his eye what a crackpot daffy loon

Course at that time Dan wouldn't guess he'd be getting his soon

For a couple of days Dan's conscience was there

Just hanging around the house

Started to infect Dan's little head

With the memory of sizzled spouse

Dan was crazy as crazy can be He began to be affected

For in his fucked brain and heartless heart Some guilt was left unprotected

He'd pase the floor and pull his hair and cry alone at night

For now he knew the one thing to do was the one thing that was right

They took him away in a paddy wagon now he's locked up tight

So if you're married to an unbalanced man, best not ask for a light