Letters To April

If i start writing you a letter tonight

I'll be writing for hours

It doesn't seem like i can say anything

Unless it's everything.

If it could ever find its way to an envelope

It won't find its way to you

You're a million miles away.

It always seemed that way when

You weren't at arms length

There were some things that i wanted to tell you

And wanted to say

But i couldn't find you

And i couldn't find a way

So how in the world did everything go wrong?

I won't fall asleep tonight

As hard as i look

I won't find you in my arms

I was almost sure you were supposed to be there

I locked you inside of my chest

Two years ago

And i'm not letting you out.

I just thought that you should know.

All the things i thought were everything

I'm scared weren't anything.

Separation is such a relentless ache

The thoughts of you streaming

Each one more beautiful than the one before

And i'm asking myself

How could i've been better for you?

Listening for your voice

To break the silence that goes on forever

I'm not sure i told you enough

You're the most beautiful thing i've ever seen

I'm sure if i look hard enough

I'll find you pressed against me in my arms,

Lips on your neck, you're voice

Promising me that you'll always love me

Ps i'll always love you and i'm scared of hurting you