The Three Trials

I will not trust you till you prove your strength and loyalty to me,

This be a hard crew, but there's space below if you pass these trials three

This aint a game boy! I swear to God, you’ll chuck your guts with blood

The first concerns your facial hair, to shave is sacrilege

Maintain your mighty chin imperial,

It’ll keep you warm in icy winds

I’ll show you the face of spite

If you show me your hell invite

Guts, brains, maturity

Will see you through these trials three

Let the trials begin

Mark this your final warning

Let the trials begin

The second will be fun

If you like your slutbags old

Mcguyver there’s a dockside whore

Despite the fact she’s bald.

Just prize that last remaining tooth out of her rotten maw

Best do it while she’s sleeping

Get your moneys worth of whore

The third will be your death

To gamble on the dice you ante your final living breath

The demon’s dice will be the tools with which we’ll see it done

To lose the dice you loose your life so think about it son

...Roll, roll, roll the dice!

I will not trust you till you prove your strength and loyalty to me,

This be a hard crew, but there’s space below if you pass these trials three

And did he pass the test? Hell no, the bastard lost.

He made his beard of shaven hair from the hind legs of a dog