Dig A Hole In The Ground

You hear so many rumors sometimes you get confused

But i read it in time magazine and i heard it on the news

We'll see dramatic changes in the lifestyle we enjoy

If those megatons of atom bombs are actually employed.

The scenarios are scary, oh, but they don't worry me

Since i received a pamphlet from a federal agency

It's got diagrams and checklists and i read it front to back

And it told me what to do in case of nuclear attack: just

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Dig a hole in the ground, and climb right on down

Lay some boards on top of you and sprinkle dirt around

You won't have to be dead if you only plan ahead

You'll be glad you kept a shovel on hand!

Now you can't just go picking any old place to dig your hole

Got to take a ride to the countryside to the town where you are told

If your plates are odd-numbered please don't panic, you'll be fine

Just politely let those even-numbered cars go first in line

If you don't have a car, just hail a cab or ride your bike

You can climb aboard the amtrak train, sit back, and enjoy the sights

You and thousands of your city friends will be welcomed cordially

By townfolk who will show you country hospitality--then

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We're sure to give you notice up to seven days before

But it's wise to recognize the warning signs of nuclear war

If the temperature is rising in a flash of blinding light

Grab your toothbrush and a flashlight and shut the windows tight

If the wind is blowing wicked and there's buildings in the air

Blisters on you body, fire in your hair

If the tupperware is melting and your dinner plans are wrecked

Stay calm, it's time to put this foolproof plan into effect: just

Chorus