Ce N'est Pas Ma Faute

Some men are born with money

Some men are born with looks

Some men are born with knowledge

You won't find in descartes' books

One man is given talent

While one is born with strength

Some men are born with shoulders wide

While some endowed with length

But once in every century there comes a blessed morn

A man like moi with all the gifts I've listed here is born

So this has been my credo since I was very young

I say "it's not my fault", or to put it in my tongue:

"Ce n'est pas ma faute"

I'm really not to blame

I fear you'll have to ask the lord above

Why men do not come out the same

The day that I was born

I crowned just like a prince, it's true

A nursemaid pinched my derriere

And ladies have been pinching ever since (whoo!)

My mother heard me cry

She offered up her breast

Then as a man I learned to use

That sad routine to sample all the rest

But when I list my conquests

It's certainly not meant to gloat

It's to remind you all that ce n'est pas ma faute

"Ce n'est pas ma faute"

I've caused so many rifts

It's truly both a blessing and a curse

That I must always share these gifts

A tutor named claudine

Once taught me all she knew

And when I had exhausted all she had

Then I taught her a thing or two

The pantry was the place

A serving wench, suzette (nice crepes)

Taught me a brand-new recipe

Then had me serve it to her on brochette

And so I say to all the crying cuckolds

With their hands around my throat

"I'll have her home by ten" and ce n'est pas ma faute

En garde! Aoupe! and coup d'arret!

The pesky duels won't go away

It's simply not my fault that I'm adored

Touche, seconde, arete, riposte

It's just a fact I do not boast

I'm blessed with something mightier than either pen or sword

Now dance, wenches, dance!

(Ce n'est pas ma faute

He's really not to blame)

The problem is the moth that's always circling the flame

(Ce n'est pas ma faute

It's really not his fault)

I'm gifted with a treasure, so why keep it in the vault?

(Ce n'est pas ma faute

Please don't castrate the bull)

I beg you don't demagnetize the magnet for it's pull

(Oh!)

Pull!

(Oh!)

Pull!

(Oh!)

So if you want to find me

I'll be pitching tents beneath your petticoat

I see what keeps this lass afloat

I choose this wench to motorboat

No sheep is safe from this old goat

I'll need some help on this last note

Yes, ce n'est pas ma faute!

Oh, are we finished?