Don't Say Yes Until I Finish Talking

Male ensemble:

A studio executive has no beliefs

That's the way of a studio system

We bow to every rear of all the studio chiefs

And you can bet your ass we've kissed 'em

Even the birds in the hollywood hills

Know the secret to our success

It's those magical words that pay the bills:

Yes, yes, yes, and yes

(A bunch of scuffling about Darryl Zanuck coming)

Christian:

Gentlemen! Take a memo.

Today the trades are all aglow

With grosses for our Miss Monroe

The things those vermin mustn't know

Is what she puts us through

She makes directors wait all day

One line per hour is all she'll say

And still, she thinks we're gonna pay

She needs a talking to

Tomatoes like her must be put in their place

If she don't shape up soon, she'll soon be walking

'cause the buck stops with me

(ensemble: yes you're right, we agree!)

Uh, don't say yes until I finish talking

She's got them all tied up in knots

Makes each producer faint in plots

She thinks she's queen and calls the shots

As she sits on a thrown

She needs to learn she's only skin

The next girl's waiting for a spin

I made a star of Rin Tin Tin and paid him with a bone

Tomatoes like her

Well, they're easy to find

We throw them out as soon as they start squacking

So, get me some younger dish

(ensemble: we concur, as you wish!)

Hey! Don't say yes until I finish talking

And while you got me on a roll

Let's find a role for Nat King Cole

Tell Mankowitz his script is trite

A little lower, to the right

I think that Brando is mis-cast

That television just won't last

That I'm the kind of hollywood

(ensemble: all hail the king!)

Oh, that feels good

Which brings me back to that dumb blonde

To her demands, I now respond

Some buy her act, but I'm not conned

You better fall in line

You're too bazooms and nuts to boot

I'll keep you in a bathing suit

When you stop bringing in the loot

Well, go back to the vine

Tomatoes like you

They all whither and die

My powers, though, will never be diminished

So don't bring me to my boiling point

You're just a broad, I own the joint

I'm in control, you're just a face

So allow me to cut to the chase

I'll make another movie star

Can someone light my damn cigar?

And then say "yes"

'Cause yes, men

I'm finished

(ensemble: yes!)