Minnie The Moocher At The Morgue

Now you've all heard the tale about Minnie the Moocher

Who lived by the subway in New York

Now she was a snow-eatin' sinner

She'd steal a poor man's silver knives and fork

Now the policeman took poor Minnie down to the jailhouse

Then down to the morgue for a ride

Now the policeman said: Minnie, tell the truth now

Did you know any o' these boys before they died?

Well, poor Minnie looked around at all them dead corpses

To see if there was anybody that she knew

And she said to that big fat policeman

Well, I think I knew maybe one or two

Now right over there is Burglin' Bud the bandit

He's got a cake of ice at his head and toe

Now that man was so hot when I knew him

He'd 'a' turned that cake of ice into snow

Now layin' right over there on that long stretcher

Why, that's poor Bowery Bob who run the cabaret

He tried to beat a rap by turnin' squealer

Somebody bumped him off yesterday

Minnie's eyes fell on a slab o' marble

And she screamed like the whistle on a train

On that slab laid Willie the Weeper

He was just deader than the king of Spain

Oh, Willie was Minnie's boyfriend

She didn't know that she was gonna find him there

Oh, laid out on a slab o' marble

All cold, bleak, and bare

Now my little story's all over

You've heard 'bout poor Minnie's plight

Now if you think this story ain't got no moral

You can just bet your bottom dollar you're right