Page type: lyric reference
Artist: Stephen Sondheim
Canonical path: /sondheim-stephen/the-worst-pies-in-london
Related lyric paths: 6
Lyric guide
The Worst Pies in London
Read The Worst Pies in London lyrics by Stephen Sondheim on LyroVerse, with linked artist context and related song paths.
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Curated by Ethan Walker
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Lyrics
The Worst Pies in London
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Mrs. Lovett
A customer!
Wait! What's your rush?
What's your hurry?
You gave me such a...
fright! I thought you was a ghost!
Half a minute, can't ya sit?
Sit ya down!
Sit!
All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer for weeks.
Did ya come here for a pie, sir?
Do forgive me if my head's a little vague.
Ugh!
What is that?
But you'd think we had the plague.
From the way that people
keep avoiding!
No you don't!
Heaven knows I try, sir!
But there's no one comes in even to inhale!
Right you are, sir, would you like a drop of ale?
Mind you I can hardly blame them!
These are probably the worst pies in London.
I know why nobody cares to take them!
I should know!
I make them!
But good? No...
The worst pies in London...
Even that's polite! The worst pies in London!
If you doubt it take a bite!
Sweeney Todd (spoken)
Ugh!
Mrs. Lovett (sung)
Is that just, disgusting?
You have to concede it!
It's nothing but crusting!
Here drink this, you'll need it.
The worst pies in London
And no wonder with the price of meat
what it is
when you get it.
Never thought I'd live to see the day.
Men'd think it was a treat
findin' poor
animals
what are dyin' in the street.
Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop.
Does a business, but I notice something weird.
Lately, all her neighbors cats have disappeared.
Have to hand it to her!
What I calls,
enterprise!
Poppin' pussies into pies!
Wouldn't do in my shop!
Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick!
And I'm telling you them pussycats is quick.
No denying times is hard, sir!
Even harder than the worst pies in London.
Only lard and nothing more-
Is that just revolting?
All greasy and gritty?
It looks like it's molting!
And tastes like...we'll pity.
A woman alone...with limited wind
And the worst pies in London!
Ah, sir
Times is hard.
Times is hard.
Sweeney Todd (spoken)
Isn't that a room up there? Over the shop?
If times are so hard, why don't you rent it out? Should bring in something...
Mrs. Lovett (spoken)
Up there? Huh, no one'll go near it.
People think it's haunted.
You see years ago something happened, something not very nice.
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Who performs "The Worst Pies in London"?
Stephen Sondheim performs "The Worst Pies in London", and this lyric page sits inside the Stephen Sondheim catalog on LyroVerse.
Are there related songs to explore after "The Worst Pies in London"?
Yes. The related section below points to A Boy Like That, I Have A Love and A Little Priest with a short reason for opening each page next.
Where can I find more songs by Stephen Sondheim?
Use the artist link near the top of the page or the related paths section below to keep moving through Stephen Sondheim's lyric pages.
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