Shave, If You Love Me

Wax the monkey, shave the bear

Jungle-creatures won't be fed in here

Trim the hedges, cut the trees

Then you'll know how affection feels

Shave the monkey, wax the bear

Such hairy creatures cannot stay in here

Trim the hedges, and trim the tree

Who is there hiding in the shrubbery?

Where there's a hole there is an ace

I will put a smile on your grumpy face

(Beefcake vegetarian

We're oiled, refined and slightly tan

If we're the heat wave then you're the fan

And now we'll gladly carry out the garbage-can

We're fifty something, well-aged wine

If you're wooden in your cask that's just fine)

I'll be your garland queen of Lace

The Sleeping Beauty in our maze

Oh, fifty something well aged win

Me, the wooden cask, that's fine

I know you like me to watch you piss

You're only waiting to be kissed

You're such a beauty to behold

Here comes a shower and it's made of gold

I'm a flower, water me

Let's build a castle by the sea

You're like the sun-shine, morning breeze

The sun shines warm on your disease

Such pollen makes the black birds sneeze

Who is there sitting on your back?

There is no need for a sneak attack

If you're monastic to my bliss

Then I will be faithful like syphilis

Oh God! Poor friar dreaming in his cell(s)

He knows the art of tonsure well

And all the songs a blade can sing

Sugh is the Easter that I bring

The bells are chiming in (y)our vaults

I am the goddess that unfolds

Iconic beauty, as yet unseen

If you're only courting, the Virgin Queen

So: Wax the monkey, shave the bear

Jungle-creatures cannot come in here

Trim the hedges and cut the trees

Then you'll know how affection feels