Garet Trooper

This is dedicated to the parade field trooper

Who never leaves that nice soft garrison

And always looks real pretty

Now in the war torn jungles of Vietnam

You’ll find a certain kind of man

You’ll see him everywhere

He’s a trooper, a garet trooper

Yeah, he’s five foot four, 228 pounds of blubber

Got him a nickel plated 45 tied down low, quick draw holster

Two bandoliers of brasso-ed ammo

Yeah he’s a trooper, a garet trooper

He’s fought from Saigon to Nha Trang

In every bar that is, and then only with the girls

And he ain’t won one yet

But he’s a trooper, a garet trooper garet trooper

He’s got a hip knife, a side knife, a boot knife, a shoulder knife

And a little bitty one that’s a combination flare gun, dinner set,

and genuine police whistle

But he’s a trooper, a garet trooper

Now I run into one the other day, He told me a story,

He said he'd just this minute come back from

a fifteen day runnin’ fight against the Cong

Said he captured a lot of loot

You know what I saw when I looked down? A spit shined boot

Yeah, he’s a trooper, a garet trooper garet trooper

Now poor ole pilot come back today

Half his crew was killed, aircraft shot to hell

But he don’t say much

He’s not a trooper, a garet trooper

And out in the hills and the jungles and the swamps

Living like a bunch of dogs

Are some men wearing funny little green hats

They stay out there and fight for months on end

They don’t say much ‘cause they’re not troopers,

garet troopers garet troopers

And I bet finally, when I leave this war torn land

The last thing I’ll see will be,

though I may be in a drunken stupor

I bet it’ll be a garet trooper garet trooper

Yeah, they’re all over the place

Ain’t hardly worth going to war no more