Suspender Man

One moonlight night in the bayou a silhouette

The air was sweet and the fog was violet

The gators were all drinking tea, in a dreamy pantsless glee

I saw a suspendered man, a banjo holstered in his hands

He had biggest red suspenders I ever did see, golly gee that's what I've seen

He flicked the brim of his hat, and this is what he said to me

Mister robut ah am the suspender man

And dis banjo 'as shown me dah promised land

Now ah play a song but in return, yoo put dat shiny coin right 'ere in mah urn

And ah play yoo sumfin fine. Mah music gonna blow yo mind! "

So I flicked my coin into his pot, I gotta admit it twasn't a lot

Two cents and then his fingers wriggled

He plucked those strings and belched a giggle

He tapped his foot, howled like a hound

Igniting up the unholy sound

And I ain't never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never

Never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never

Never, never, never, never, never, heard anything so great

Call the vendors

Big suspenders

That's what everybody wants to wear

They stretch to nantucket

Put them in a bucket

And send them to the gnome trapped down the well

(Tug 'em with thumbs is ideal)

(While rollin' back on your heels)

(Yeah)

He played the two cent show

And just like that he stopped playing

My jaw dropped to the floor

He cracked his neck and smiled at me

And said

"Buddy, y'gotta pay for more!"

But by then a crowd had swarmed the swamp

Tossin' coin in after coin

So he cleared his throat, and his fingers writhed

And everyone shouted for suspender guy

Call the vendors

Big suspenders

That's what grandma wants for her birthday

They're bright red and awesome

Even worn by opossums

Nobody wants their pants to fall down

(Ma and pappy want 'em too)

(Even the ghost of your uncle stu)

(Yeah)

He played the two cent show

Fracture dat banjo!

All the children sing and dance

Those banjo sounds instill a trance

By 4 AM the press what hot

Suspender man on the front page spot

Suspenders were in and spats were out

The girls all suffered from fainting bouts

The banjos flew off the shelves

Sprouting wings with dreams

Of being played by suspender man

But in the middle of February

The fog turned a crimson red

The suspender man disappeared

Everyone was heels over head

But we found his suspenders and that old banjo

Sittin' right there on his log

And though he's gone

That's what he gets

For selling his soul to the bog

Big suspenders

Put them in a blender

Three bat teeth and a blackened gypsy eye

Bring it to a boil

Release your mortal coil

Out pops a belt to wear for you and me

Nobody wants their pants to fall down

You could wear a dress and then you'd have no need

(The alligators had it right)

(Wearing pants it sure does bite)

(Yeah)

He played the two cent show