Give Me News I Can Use

Good evening one and all, this is channel 24

Bringing you the latest news around the world

Down in Florida today, someone tried to get away

When he commandeered the train at Disney World

Until noon it was a standoff, but then he lost his luck

When someone shot him down, dressed up like Donald Duck

It was a midget G-man

And we're sorry that we could not show it live

But we'll have film of the shooting here at five

Give me some news I can use, let me smile for a while

For the madness has taken it's toll

Give me some news I can use, just a break for the sake

Of my mind which is losing control

From Washington today, called a senator to say

That our future has been cancelled 'cause we're broke

We called the white house without end finally reached the President

Says he don't know if it's real or just a joke

And last night at the playoffs, things got pretty grim

They crucified the referee and tore him limb from limb

Ah, you should have been there

And in the weather, there's a hurricane in sight

And that's the way it is with us tonight

Give me some news I can use, let me smile for a while

For the madness has taken it's toll

Give me some news I can use, just a break for the sake

Of my mind which is losing control

Seems like every single day another mind gets blown away

And the world goes just a little more insane

I got problems of my own, tryin' to keep my house and home

And I sure could stand some cheerful news again

My agent called to tell me my record's on the chart

It's number 90 with an anchor, I never said that it was art

I gotta eat too, ya know

And my buddy who still owes me for his bail

He says, "don't worry, your check is in the mail"

Give me some news I can use, let me smile for a while

For the madness has taken it's toll

Give me some news I can use, just a break for the sake

Of my mind which is losing control