Love Is A Punch In The Throat

Not many people will tell you this,

but the grim Reaper wears a bra,

There's other ways to quench my carnal lust

than skinny women with their heaving busts

I'll buy a ferret I'll live alone

forgetting all the chicks that I've ever known

Become a recluse and a misanthrope

live a life completely void of hope

I'll let my ferret be my means to deal

with all the bullshit women make me feel

Someday I may become a Panjandrum

or perhaps remain an eccentric bum

I'll cut my ear off and I'll get your address

to represent for you what I can't express

Chorus:

All I could give, so much I'd devote

Love's not a union, it's a punch in the throat

Am I in love, or is my head in a vice?

Are those your freckles, or do you have lice?

For each emotion that you antiquate,

I've got a ferret back home who waits

I'm nescient and I'm love's neophyte

I'm truly bibulous, I'm bald and I'm white

So what's so lacking in my self esteem?

Love's quite pellucid in a bottle of Beam

I've got my complex and you've got your breasts

they're both related by my therapists' guess

You make me dizzy and you're hurting my head

I think I'd rather love my ferret instead

Chorus

Who shut the lights off? Oh, ferret that's you

as long as you're up, could you get me one too

We'll crank our Leo Kottke and get drunk in the dark

and cover up with palaver where chicks left their mark

A ferret's not a weasel, but a female may be

the two are intertwined when you live like me

I'd visit myself, but I wouldn't wanna stay

without a ferret there's no other way

Chorus

There's other ways to quench my carnal lust

than skinny women with their heaving busts

I'll buy a ferret I'll live alone

forgetting all the chicks that I've ever known

Chorus