Trumpet, Trumpet, Toot! Toot!

You gotta memorize all the lines, and

Brother Thespian, you'll be fine

You gotta define your breath in beats

With a graduation pen, use mind

Stage left, enter Maggie, looking hurried,

She has a parcel in her arms

Are you the leopard, or a virgin,

Or the child in a grown man's beard

Worn out of place and hanging off his face

By the time the audience cheered?

And you were feeling pretty cocky

On the day you became an actor,

I know the thing I shouldn't say

So I'll leave it at this:

I hope you get what you're after

And if when you're out you see the hundredth rose

Fall from the sky,

Brother, stick that thing in the ground and

Say a heartfelt prayer for your safe arrival

I'd like to think that the actors never banded

I'd like to throw this trumpet down and go empty handed

The part of the virgin has been taken

So let me throw this trumpet down and go empty handed

If you're the virgin

Then I'm the stand-in

I'd like to think the actors never banded

I'd like to throw this trumpet down and go empty handed

Go "ah-ah, ah-ah, ah