Archetype Cafe

Lady MacBeth said to Helen of Troy

When they finished the wine they'd been drinking

"I'm all for regicide once in a while, but

Helen, dear, what were you thinking?"

Helen smiled back enigmatically, for she'd

Never much cared what her friends say

And the Ladies' Historic Society meets

Down at Archetype Cafe on Wednesday...

Helen confided to the warrior, Jeanne d'Arc

That the war would have happened without her

And Joan with her visionary eyes all aflame

Had seen killing enough not to doubt her

Circe was conjuring bacon and eggs

To the evident delight of young Sovay

And the Ladies' Historic Society meets

Down at Archetype Cafe on Wednesday...

And Lady Macbeth chaired the meeting and gave

An impassioned plea for us to hear that the maddened and

Murdering witches, hags whores and bitches

Are history twisting the tale

So they'll tell you Medea was jealous, they'll tell you

Boudicca took poison and died and they'll give you a

Line to yourself, or a place on the shelf

If you wedded a better-known male

Rapunzel was braiding the hair of the werewolf

Who always wore scarlet for hunting

Annes Bonney and Boleyn were fencing again

For the prize of a worn baby bunting

Josephine Baker's twelve princesses danced

Isadora kept score with Salome

When the Ladies' Historic Society meets

Down Archetype Cafe on Wednesday

And before Lady Mac thanked the speakers

The questions rang out from the floor

We challenged our daughters' perceptions to change

And we challenged our sons' even more

Oh they'll tell you Boudicca took poison, Circe was

Wicked, and Sovay was hung they'll tell you

Evita was idolised, Mary was holy &

Pure, Juliet was too young

They'll tell you that... Helen was 'pretty' and poor Joan was 'mad'

And Medea was 'jealous', and I was just 'bad'

And the Ladies' Historic Society dines

On the finest of foods and the choicest of wines

And if I knew where Archetype Cafe was now

I'd book us all tables for Wednesday...