Retrospect

I’m so sorry for how I was

I know I was a lot to handle

But when you’ve been broken like I have

It’s hard to trust in love

Is the thought of me stuck in your head?

Or am I just a memory?

Faded to the back of your mind

Never to be seen

I’m writing this song here while I’m empty

It’s the only time I can

Because my bottle is the same

It’s hard to put into words

How I feel these days

It’s hard to imagine this could change

Oh how I wish, oh how I wish you’d stay

I just want to feel the beating of your chest against my head again

When I fall asleep, frayed and bleak

I miss the way you held me close

I’m finding it hard to cope without you

I’m sorry I had to be this way

I couldn’t help it, I’m not okay

I’d rather die than watch you walk away

I’m finding it hard to focus

The closest I get to you is in my dreams

But I no longer sleep

The nights turn into mourning

My mind is my own hell

But you gave me strength to love myself

And I admit I need your help

I just want to feel the beating of your chest against my head again

When I fall asleep, frayed and bleak

I miss the way you held me close

I’m finding it hard to cope without you

I’m sorry I had to be this way

I couldn’t help it, I’m not okay

I’d rather die than watch you walk away

I can see that you don’t love me

It’s no longer hard to tell

But all these chemicals in my brain

They just don’t work that well

I can’t argue that you’re leaving

I don’t even like myself

So if I ever happen to drift off

I hope I don’t wake up