Disciple

Everything will fade to grey

Nothing’s sticking in my head, anyway

As I lay in sheer dismay

Of the world I’ve built for myself day after day it’s

Not unreasonable to be so miserably when

Everything I’ve done has landed me this way

Silent overdrive of all my thoughts inside, I

I wanna shout out, but I don’t know what to say

I know you wanna hear I’m fine

But that’s just not the truth this time

You treat my sorrow like a crime

But I’m tired of trying, tired of dying

They say these things are meant to be

But all I know is misery

I’m showing you the best of me

But I’m tired of trying, tired of lying to you

While I etch my life in stone

With a fist full of sand to bury all I’ve known

Drink the sweat and tears off all my dreams and all my fears

And as it all comes down (and down, and down, and down)

Everything has come apart, Now I’m back here at the start

And though I’m promised it gets better, I’ve made failure an art

Why do you put up with my tries, They might as well have all been lies

With all the shit in which I thrive, It’s a wonder I’m alive!

I know you wanna hear I’m fine

But that’s just not the truth this time

You treat my sorrow like a crime

But I’m tired of trying, tired of dying

They say these things are meant to be

But all I know is misery

I’m showing you the best of me

But I’m tired of trying, tired of lying to you

Every time I close my eyes, I see all that i despise

every memory of mine that has worn me over time

Crushing every dream I know, let the vines begin to grow

Overtaking all I see, like a toxic melody

I am not your new messiah I will never take you higher

Don’t you put your trust in me If you ever want to see

I will simply put it in you, all the hate that I have been through

Keep away, or you’ll stay, and your life will rot away