All Too Well (Sad Girl Autumn Version)

I walked through the door with you, the air was cold

But something 'bout it felt like home somehow, and I

Left my scarf there at your sister's house

And you've still got it in your drawer, even now

Oh, your sweet disposition and my wide eyed gaze

We're singing in the car, getting lost upstate

Autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place

And I can picture it after all these days

And I know it's long gone and

That magic's not here no more

And I might be ok, but I'm not fine at all, oh

'Cause there we are again on that little town street

You almost ran the red 'cause you were looking over at me

Wind in my hair, I was there

I remember it all too well

Photo album on the counter

Your cheeks were turning red

You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin-sized bed

And your mother's telling stories 'bout you on the tee ball team

You taught me 'bout your past thinkin' your future was me

And you were tossing me the car keys

Fuck the patriarchy, keychain on the ground

We were always skipping town

And I was thinking on the drive down

Any time now, he's gonna say it's love

You never called it what it was

'Til we were dead and gone and buried

Check the pulse and come back swearing, it's the same

After three months in the grave

And then you wonder where it went to

As I reached for you, but all I felt was shame

And you held my lifeless frame

And I know it's long gone and

There was nothing else I could do

And I forget about you long enough

To forget why I needed to

'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night

We're dancin' 'round the kitchen in the refrigerator light

Down the stairs, I was there

I remember it all too well

And there we are again when nobody had to know

You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath

Sacred prayer, and we'd swear

To remember it all too well

Well, maybe we got lost in translation

Maybe I asked for too much

Maybe this thing was a masterpiece

'Til you tore it all up

Running scared, I was there

I remember it all too well

And you call me up again

Just to break me like a promise

So casually cruel in the name of being honest

I'm a crumpled up piece of paper lying here

'Cause I remember it all, all, all

They say: All's well that ends well

But I'm in the new hell every time

You double-cross my mind

You said if we had been closer in age

Maybe it would have been fine

And that made me want to die

The idea you had of me, who was she?

A never-needy, ever lovely jewel

Whose shine reflects on you

Not weeping in a party bathroom

Some actress asking me what happened

You, that's what happened: You

You, who charmed my dad with self-effacing jokes

Sipping coffee like you were on a late night show

Then he watched me watch the front door all night

Willing you to come

And he said: It's supposed to be fun turning 21

Time won't fly, it's like I'm paralyzed by it

I'd like to be my old self again

But I'm still trying to find it

After plaid shirt days and nights when you made me your own

Now you mail back my things and I walk home alone

But you keep my old scarf from that very first week

'Cause it reminds you of innocence

And it smells like me, you can't get rid of it

'Cause you remember it all too well

'Cause there we are again when I loved you so

Back before you lost the one real thing you've ever known

It was rare, I was there

I remember it all too well (oh, oh)

Wind in my hair, you were there, you remember it all

Down the stairs, you were there, you remember it all

It was rare, I was there

I remember it all too well

And I was never good at telling jokes, but the punchline goes

I'll get older, but your lovers stay my age

From when your Brooklyn broke my skin and bones

I'm a soldier who's returning half her weight

And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue?

Just between us, did the love affair maim you too?

'Cause in this city's barren cold

I still remember the first fall of snow

And how it glistened as it fell

I remember it all too well

Just between us, did the love affair maim you all too well?

Just between us, do you remember it all too well?

Just between us (just between us), I remember it all too well

Just between us, I remember it

(Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there) I was there

(Down the stairs, I was there, I was there) I was there

(Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there)

(It was rare, you remember it all too well)

(Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there)

(Down the stairs, I was there, I was there) I was there

(Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there)

(It was rare, you remember it all too well)

(Wind in my hair, I was there, I was there)

(Down the stairs, I was there, I was there)

(Sacred prayer, I was there, I was there)

(It was rare, you remember it)