Mega Man II

I'm a super fightin' robot from the year 2010, on a quest from Dr. Light to make the city safe again.

See all these robots were created to make the planet safe.

'Til Dr. Wily double crossed us and set fire to the place.

Dr. Wily had other plans to take over this bitch.

Re-programmed my brother and stole all them shits.

My name is Mega Man on my jet-dog Rush.

Got a cannon arm for y'all to keep your mouth shut, c'mon!

Ve interrupt the program vith terrible news.

Dr. Light has been kidnapped by, GUESS WHO?!

DR. WILY THAT'S WHO! I'M COMING AFTER YOU TOO!

Wrong.

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU'RE DOOMED!

Thanks Wily, it's not like I got shit to do.

Why not waste all of energy, fuckin' with you?!

C'mon Rush we gotta go and save Dr. Light, and then teach Dr. Wily the wrong from the right, alright?

Hey bro, Proto Man here, so what's up?

I got eight of my buddies built, for messin' you up.

But who cares? I wish I did, but I'm just not built for that bro.

I gotta fly, hope you're ready to go.

SURE.

Choose carefully you motherfu-.

NO.

How come you gotta interru-?

NOPE. Nuh-uh. Don't think so.

If I'm gonna win I'll have to upgrade my shit.

Remember when I beat 'em to steal their power chips.

Charge my power beam when I enter the room.

And then boom-ba da-boom-boom boom-de-boom-boom.

To the windows, to the wall.

'Til the sweat drips from my balls.

I'm beatin' ya down to the fuckin' ground.

I got a Mega Buster for y'all, cmon!

Metal Man will rock your shit! You're hit don't you forget it bitch!

Throw a saw blade into your face!

Let's face it you will taste my razor blades!

Umm, whatever you're the first boss bitch.

I don't even need a special power to take your shit.

Yeah you're right, I'm no big deal...

One shot with my arm cannon, your power's a "steel"- DEAD.

I'm comin' to get you, fffucker.

Stop yourself...

Hey there freak these freakin' woods are mine.

The name's Wood Man, have some freakin' leaves and vines.

Bitch I upgraded my cannon with some Metal Blade's for 'ya.

Fuck Mega Man I'm the forest-a-destroya!

You'll never get past my freakin' shield of leaves.

I'm Mega Man punk, don't you know me? BELIEVE IT.

I guess I'll just throw the freakin' thing at your ass.

Jump over that shit, then your ass is grass- DEAD.

Two down, six more to go- beat you in a flash bitch, there 'ya-.

FLASH!

Ahh...

You fool, Flash Man in the House and I'm breakin' the rules!

No fair I'm frozen in the air!

Time's on my side, no time to spare.

'Bout to shoot these Metal Blade's straight in your face.

Put all of Wily's robots in their place!

Leave you there so long you rust!

When I'm done here all that'll be left is dust.

My time to shine 'cause I'm better than most.

The trendsetter with the blue suit, you're toast!

Umm, I got a blue suit too? At least I'm not as silly as you.

I'm gonna throw this Metal Blade and cut a hole in your ass.

I think I'll have my dog Rush take a picture of that, DEAD.

The name's Bubble Man and I got somethin' to say...

DEAD. I'm not fuckin' with you.

Look up in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane.

It's Air Man bitch, and I'm bringin' the pain!

I got a fan installed, in my grill, no lie.

I'm gonna blow your ass straight off the map, GOODBYE.

Beat you breathe you make you Co2.

Blow all you want my Leaf Shield repels you.

So blow me phony, your whole act's baloney.

You don't even pose a threat I'm not frettin' it homie.

SHIT! I'm as useless as Bubble Man.

Wow that's fuckin' pathetic my leaves jammed your fan- DEAD.

I'll sneak up and hit ya like a fuckin' tornado.

Puttin' Crash Man in the trash can like yesterday's tomatoes.

C'mon now...

Crashin' the party it's Mega Man baby.

Mega Man's in the house!

Quit messin' around...

It's all gravy.

I... will fuck you up.

I'monna fuck you up, Mega Man. You can't catch me!

Totally total your ass, I ain't messin' around.

I... will throw a bomb, and then I will jump around.

What's that sound I hear?

That shit's the wind and it's pullin' ya down.

I'm Quick Man dressed in red. I got a yellow boomerang, attached to my head.

Look without the guilt I'll fuckin' drink you in milk, for tryin' to destroy this planet we built.

Oh c'mon Mega, don't be sour!

What I lack with speed I make up for in POWER.

You can't touch my turbo skill.

With the Crash Bombs, I'm comin in for the kill- DEAD.

Anyone got a light? I need a cigarrette.

Here 'ya go bro.

Bitch you're gonna regret.

Uhh, one more boss, don't forget, I'd love to stay, but I gotta jet!

'Sup Heat Man let's do this fast.

My pussy-ass brother just bailed on your ass.

It's time to blow bubbles, the bad kind though.

Don't get too close, I might blow.

Who knows what flows from the Earth? I DO!

I'm gonna spew red goo all over your shoes.

I got a face for radio and a box for a suit.

Capcom really didn't spend much time on you.

NOPE.

Check it out, I'm tired of you.

I gotta get to Light before his time is through.

I got my cannon ready, I got huntin' to do.

I've got more hot than a cow has moo.

I will burn you with my flame!

Zippo is my middle name!

I'm done fuckin' around, eight-bit clown.

Here's a bubble have fun six feet underground- DEAD.

I'm comin' to get you, you German bastard!

You will never make it through my fortress, Mega Man.

I'm taking over the world! WAHAHAHAHAHA!

Shit, c'mon Rush we've gotta make it through the castle.

Over the ladder and make it to the battle.

Dr. Light needs our help and the world needs his genius.

Wily can suck a penis! J-J-Jump over the roof, charge my cannon and shoot.

Come and face me like a man you old coot.

I'm tired of fightin' robots and cleanin' up your messes!

I'm takin' out the trash, it's time to learn a lesson.

So come down to the ground out of your spaceship.

You ain't got the BALLS to be fuckin' with this shit.

After I take you I'll rip outchya brain!

They won't even remember your name, c'mon.

You fuckin' meanie, you 10-pound weenie.

To get the world you'll have to go through me.

My name is Mega Man you can call me "Rock", 'cause I'll be rockin' your shit up and down the block.

And that's how we ROLL.

Need my help?

Nuh-uh, get back in the kitchen, shit is under control.

It's a man's world baby, don't be flashin' ya vag.

Here's my back hand bitch you got a prob'm with that?

Saw Blade the Mecha Dragon I just won't quit.

Quick Boomerang the Guts Dozer hit the switch.

Mega Man motherfucker and I'm rockin' this bitch!

Mega Man! You're right on time.

I will annihilate you once and for all. You're mine!

I'll shoot you down from the sky, you'll never take me alive.

With these Metal Blade's I'm packin' you'll die, that's no lie!

Join us Mega Man we could take over this place- dominate the human race!

Face it you could always be replaced!

You old geezer, I'll take your ass down any day.

You'll never be as smart as Dr. Light is any way!

You're artificial Mega Man, what do you care?

I'll tear the world apart without you, I hope you're prepared!

What the fuck?! You're an alien, you've gotta be kiddin' me!

You nut sack don't fight back I'll embarrass you E.T.

Dr. Wily phone home! I do love Reeses...

You're nothing but a thesis, I'll blow you to pieces!

Check it out, here's my bubble, I'm done with ya crazy.

Now get on your knees and cry like a lady!

DEAD!

...Yer mother.