If You Want To Wear a Hat

If you want to wear a hat

You'd better get one that looks better than that

Or on second thought the hat upon your head

Would look good with a feather instead

Then you need to ask a bird

Which is more complicated than you have heard

For the birdie will not cooperate

Unless you guarantee the going rate

So you need to get a job

For that you must stop dressing like a slob

As the suit that you are wearing my friend

Makes me think that you are trying to offend

When a suit is what you need to wear

Get one that makes you look like a square

And if you want some visual relief

Change the color of your hankerchief

If you want to wear a hat

But didn't know it was as difficult as that

Keep in mind what your brother-man said

Let the sunshine shine upon your head

If you want to wear a hat,

You didn't know it was as difficult as that...