(I Must Be A Proctologist Because...) All I Do Is Deal With Assholes

Well, contrary to what you think

And what you've seen on mtv

You don't have to be an asshole all the time

Watch me as I take this knife out of

My back to cut wrists and throat, I'll laugh

Bleed to death, choke

I've been used for all I'm worth

Can't feed your ego anymore

Or be that friend who'd take a shot for you

Why not do one fucking thing

That isn't for your fucking self

If you cry

I'll laugh at you

Cause I'll be gone tomorrow, you'll

Look into the mirror at you'll lie

When you claim to care

I can't believe he's gone for good, I

Wish I could have said something

Don't kid yourself

You were never there for me

Complacency

When you talk to me

All the kids agree

You're irreverent as you feign respect for me

Anger and pressure

Build up inside of me

I'll explode

And you'll fake a frown

So are you happy now

Yeah, you got what you wanted

You got your 3rd second chance

And got the $15

Out of your pocket

My last will and testament will

Claim you shall get stoned to shit at my

My funeral

And when I'm gone tomorrow

You'll talk to your new shiny friends

And you'll lie

When you claim to care

Let's have a toast to our old friend, he'll

Be there in our memories

Go fuck yourself

I wont waste my time there

And it's so easy

To just give up