Secret Santa Cruz

Cash Advances And Jenny's Back On Campus

I Can't Believe That It's September

Said Jenny What's The Story, All The Chicks In Her Sorority

Asked Her How She Spent The Summer

Said I Interned At Some Law Firm, I Got A Little Sunburned

I Saw Some Raver Kid Get Murdered

I Met A Guy, And This Guy I Met He Got Me High

And The Drum And Bass Sounds A Lot Like Rollin' Thunder

And The Blue Looks Beautiful As It Tops Off The Torch

You Don't Have To Go Inside To Buy, You Can Buy It Off The Porch

Twenty-Seven Lovers In The Back Half Of The Summer

I Know You Think That's Way Too Many

But The X Makes Me Feel Sexy And The Sex Makes Me Feel Empty

The Alcohol Destroys Me

And I Did It In A Disco With Some Guy From San Francisco

Who Looked A Lot Like Roger Daltry

And The Night Of All That Bloodshed I Was Kissin' On Some Crackhead

Who Said He Knew About A Party, He Keeps It In His Mouth In Those Crazy Chipmunk Cheeks

I Gave Him Fifty And He Kissed Me, Spit A Little Treat Between My Teeth

I Think We're Starting To Peak

Woke Up At Some Hedonistic Rodeo

With Cowboys Kissing Cowboys, Trading Magazines For Videos

God Bless The Radio, All That Fine, Fine Music Without All The Messed Up Musicians

And Dwight's A Magician, He Gets Sensible People Makin' Terrible Decisions

Her Name Was Sally But They All Called Her Sal Mineo

She Was Lit Up Like An Arson But She Burned Out Like Arsenic

Her Name Was Sandy But They All Called Her San Antonio

She Can't Remember Where She Slept Last Night But She Won't Forget The Alamo

Sandy, Don't Forget Our Alibi