Drinkin'

I drink White Lightnin' when the coyotes are out

But them goddamned coyotes won't leave me alone

Mamma said son, "You know drinking is bad."

But she had to get drunk to have sex with my Dad

Glifton, he loves to beat his wife

Thank Christ he married Old Granddad on ice

Mr. Barteneder don't be so slow

I got time for another and a six pack to go

If drinkin's a sin, the devil's my friend

So give me a shot of what's left of the gin

I built my house out of beer bottles

But I drank too much whiskey, now it's all broken glass

I went to Tucson to see my old lady

She didn't have a nose so I drove back home

I don't need housing and I don't need women

I just need a bottle that I can crawl in

Give me a bourbon or give me a beer

I'd listen to your story but I cut off my ear

If drinkin's a sin, the devil's my friend

So give me a shot of what's left of the gin

My wife got pregnant with a bottle of a Schnapps

The nurse and the doctors, they all called the cops

When they got there, we partied 'till dawn

I named that bottle Paul, Peter, and John

I had my first drink at the age of 3

I picked a bottle from the whiskey tree

I grabbed it and I drank it and I got real drunk

I learned how to cry and I learned how to fuck

If drinkin's a sin, the devil's my friend

So give me a shot of what's left of the gin