Bald
Read Bald lyrics by The Darkness on LyroVerse, with linked artist context and related song paths.
The page facts to cite before the commentary
Use this page for the lyric text, linked artist context, and any LyroVerse editor's note attached to the song. Listener comments remain user-generated and should not be treated as the primary source.
Bald
The lyric stays readable and compact here; the note and related paths sit nearby so you do not lose the song while looking for context.
It would appear that male pattern
baldness has set in
his hair, at an alarming pace
running away from his face
he's losing his virility
and now his masculinity
has been compromised
and his libido down-sized
Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh
not for me, not for me, heaven forbid
it's not for me you understand
Bald, slap headed and hairless
bald he is destined to be
bald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me.
From what I have been reading
his scalp needs kneading
to stimulate each follicle
and reverse this diabolical
condition that's afflicted he
for years and has cruelly
repulsed each potential mate
and left him with a balding pate
Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh
not for me, not for me, heaven forbid
it's not for me you understand
Bald, slap headed and hairless
bald he is destined to be
bald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me.
Sock it to me baby, yeah!
Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh
not for me, not for me, heaven forbid
it's not for me you understand
Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh
not for me, not for me, heaven forbid
it's not for me you understand
Bald, slap headed and hairless
bald he is destined to be
bald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me.
Thank God!
Bald, slap headed and hairless
bald he is destined to be
bald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me.
How?
What this page can answer fast
Who performs "Bald"?
The Darkness performs "Bald", and this lyric page sits inside the The Darkness catalog on LyroVerse.
Are there related songs to explore after "Bald"?
Yes. The related section below points to Every Inch Of You and Happiness with a short reason for opening each page next.
Where can I find more songs by The Darkness?
Use the artist link near the top of the page or the related paths section below to keep moving through The Darkness's lyric pages.
Interpretations, questions, and corrections for this song
Interpretations, questions, memories, and correction notes live together here. The room stays noindex while the best insights are reviewed.
What people are saying
No listener comments on Bald yet.
A strong comment here is specific: the phrase you keep hearing, the mood you come back for, or the reason this song stays in rotation.
Sign in to post the first listener note. Reporting stays open to everyone.