She Had An Abortion That She Made Me Pay For

her life was a heartbreaking mess

she dug her smack and cigarettes

i dug the whiskey and rohypnol

that i stole from her when ever she went cold

we weren't yet beat so we beat on ourselves

and we rarely laughed and she often cried

she had an abortion that she made me pay for

thats all i gave her before she died

eighty dollars i had to peel off my thigh.

its a long time now and i lay wondering why

layed under my guilt like its an epiphany

drowning in the heat of sleep

dreaming a ghost with her mothers eyes

i get nights walking down the wet streets

that run smoother than a bad habit

down past the park where the income came from

when mine ran out

and i walk in a shadow with my theories grand

how everything was out of my hands

it wasnt my doing ive got nothing to hide

a ghost with her mothers eyes

she heard the change in my pocket as i was walking home

and she said "darlin you look awful lonely"

i said "what would a whore like you know? seems like you never alone"

then she came out of the shadows to the side of the road

and i said "man you look like someone that i once knew oh lord she had eyes like yours!"

and i stood there frozen but she was stiller yet

my wits they hit the ground running

then the streets went next

time fixed us like mortar time fixed us right there

and the whore and me we were all that was left

she said "what do you mean i aint never alone?

ive never met a single soul

ill walk forever in blackness

the blind cant see until they get old

that aint so bad as looking at you

now that you looking at me

i llok in your eyes and i know who you see

she hurt you good

but she hurt me more.................