Tell Me a Lie

Well, once I was persuaded to open up my head

I told them how it was and went and got it wrong instead

I said: Would you believe me if you only knew

I'd been stealing everything? This conversation's through

And the boy cried, hang him at three

I saw him on the front page laughing at me

He worked in a fairground in a tall hat

He's a liar he's a liar and a good one at that

Say what you want to say what you will

Write your number on my telephone bill

Walk like a monkey, kick like a mule

I could be your beggar but I'd rather be just as cruel

So I told them all I could about what could they expect

But I lost my sense of smell and I gained my self respect

They told me I was curious I told them they were slow

They asked me were I get this stuff I told them I don't know

And the boy cried: Whoopi de dee

There's a woman with a mustache who wont let me be

Though she was born on a Monday she's a hundred and four

She's a liar she's a liar and a little bit more

Say what you want to say what you will

Write your number on my telephone bill

Walk like a monkey, kick like a mule

I could be your beggar but I'd rather be just as cruel

And the boy cried hang him at three

I saw him on the front page laughing at me

He worked in a fairground in a tall hat

He's a liar, he's a liar and a good one at that

Say what you want to say what you will

Write your number on my telephone bill

Walk like a monkey, kick like a mule

I could be your beggar but I'd rather be just as cruel