Hey, I've Got That Font

The boss isn't looking

So I use my screen

For browsing an online music magazine

And there I see a thing

That I can't believe

There are still band logos made with Ogilvie

'cause me,

I'm something of a typeface connoisseur

I eat chicken wing dings with my font du jour [tofu chicken]

And I can spot your shitty fonts like a cheap toupee

And still blow you away

With my Arial display

And when it comes to fonts,

I annihilate

And when I print my fonts,

I always collate

Some are narrow and condensed,

Others heavyweight

And I'm more gothic

Than any Copperplate

Hey, I've Got That Font

And a full directory of all the TrueType you could want

Hey, I've Got That Font

They used Alleycat to advertise that local restaurant

Hey, I've Got That Font

With bolds and italics from here to Vermont

Hey, I've Got That Font

Creepygirl and Rockwell, I'm a fuckin' font savant

There are so many fonts that I recognize

Zoom in all you want, they won't pixelize

'Cause I know the good shit from the replicas

I'll see you in Helvetica

and then a

Big fucking axe will cut off your hands

You used to be serif, but now you're sans

And I got plans to make that font

Used by Mickey D's

I'll trace it out with the blood

From where your hands used to be

I customized a font so each serif ends in a hook

But your custom font looks like gobbledygook

And that's not Eras Lite but Eras Medium that you mistook

And I'm more gothic

Than any Franklin Book

Hey, I've Got That Font

And a full directory of all the TrueType you could want

Hey, I've Got That Font

They used Alleycat to advertise that local restaurant

Hey, I've Got That Font

If there was a typeface army, then I'd be the commandant

Hey, I've Got That Font

I sell 'em to pay off my Mitsubishi Galant

Morpheus

Times New Roman

Ultraworld

Bookman Old Style

Garamond

Liquidism

Comic, Bloody, Impact

Verdana

Goudy Stout

Century Gothic, Bauhaus

Joystix

Buffy

Liquidism 2

Metal Lord

Courier New