Dick Starbuck: Porno Detective

Intro

[Mr. Eon]

You see, it's Mr. E the one you think of

It was a labor of love, cry like a dove

But this ain't Prince, rhymed ever since

Thoughts of the future in the past tense

Her name was Loretta, wore a tight sweater

Met her at a jam in the '96 winter

Blunt passer, had ta harass her

Brushed up against her, while I passed her

Drinks she couldn't pass up, dreamin of handcuffs

Told me to meet her, after the band struck

Dilated eyes, peered at the thigh

Peeped fingertips, went from lips to hips

Mr. E rock shows, this she didn't know

It was this honky, who made her say ho

No way she sayin no, leave the disco

Right after Mi rocks all stereos

After 2nd Ave., ass I gotta have

Take jacket/coat, pour the beer on draft

One or the other, just to uncover

Just this night, Mr. E be the lover

Now lets play doctor, or should I say dentist?

I be Starbuck, you the dental hygenist

First brush your teeth, then rinse please

orally like Monica Lewinsky

Since she sees these testes

She's guarnateed to see these trees

It was an odd combo, like cappucino

And Clam's casino and breakfast in Reno

Chorus: Woman and Mr. Eon

[Woman] Mr. E I know you wanna be with me

[Mr. E] Girlfriend, you better that thought to an end

[Woman] You and me, baby, we cold roll real tight

[Mr. E] One night is one night, that don't make it right

[Woman] We shared drinks and stuff, I let you touch the stuff

Then an hour later it was me you clutched

[Mr. E] It's much too much, girl you gotta hush

You played me in the head, now this I trust

[Mr. Eon]

It was crazy, didn't think that this lady

Would be the one to become my baby

It was a one-nighter, we shared a lighter

Now this stupid Dutchess couldn't roll much tighter

Months into it, still doin it

Ass still chewin it, nothin could brew in it *echoes*

But someone from the past, addition to the cast

He be the ex, I be the next

To the point that I asked her, did he harass her

Said it was an old flame that didn't even matter

Once a college fling, it didn't mean a thing

I knew that this was the song she'd sing

At her crib one day, snoop I'd play

Look for evidence that would pave the way

I'm Dick Starbuck she don't know the persona

Porno Detective for Eve and Madonna

The phone did ring, I should just forget

I figure, I just let the machine get

Mike's on the line at 555-3825, Eon's on a ride

Days go buy, coolin with the guys, it was Loretta calling at my demise

Surprised, before my eyes it played to a T

It was Mike's number on the Caller ID

What we had's, what he had, don't feel bad

Take more than Loretta to make E sad

Take the L like the Packers, see you next season

Maybe next game Eon'll be cheatin

Chorus