Frutch

Frutch

Now I met me a girl and her name was Frutch

And she liked dirt and me very much

She said if she'd met me during the war

And she found me hiding underneath the door

Even if she was German and I was Dutch

She wouldn't shoot me

She was a fine girl, Frutch

Shot me last Tuesday

Now I met me a girl and her name was Scrot

She kept a notebook with many a jot

About how to turn a banknote into a cat

And many such things just as useful as that

But I told her she wouldn't dig it if she turned

into a piece of gunshot

She didn't listen

She was a fine girl, Scrot

I got her right here in my shoulder now

thanks to Frutch

Now I met me a girl and her name was Blit

And she bought a do-it-yourself submarine kit

She tried it in the bath and it went down the plug

And she was inside it, she was making it chug

When she found there wasn't no place at all for

her to sit

She didn't worry none

She was a fine girl, Blit

She was still standing when she passed Norroway

for the fourth time

Now I met me a girl and her name was Twing

She looked like a yoyo without a string

She rolled up and down like a solid hoop

Right round the block and right through the soup

And right through the stew and the chicken stuffing

She was a fine girl, Twing

She was a good cook as cooks go...she went!

Now I met me a girl and her name was Plof

She had a car with a nasty cough

She fed it with aspirins and vitamin pills

Lotions and potions for to cure all ills

'Til you couldn't see the car for three miles of froth

Big Claimsville

She was a fine girl, Plof

Car don't cough no more

Just sits in the garage all day long

And screams for the doctor

Hypochondriac!