Only one Bum in Corona del Mar - A Cowboy Musical

Narrator: Once upon a time in a little Kingdom by the Pacific Ocean,

the villagers could always be heard singing merrily

as they slathered on suntan lotion:

Villagers:

Corona Del Mar, Crown of the Sea

We nobles agree just how lucky we are

Plenty of plenty for you and for me

and there's only one bum in Corona del Mar

Nary a sin on our lily white skin

just a tan and this one tiny scar

Prince, Princess, and Queens, Kings gods and Czars

and only one bum in Corona del Mar

Narrator: The deli gives him free sandwiches

(he stops there 'bout three times a week)

then he'll shimmy behind dolphin-shaped hedges

where he likes to take a leak

Sometimes we'll hand him coffee, money or religious tracts

or at a distance speak a kind word

and he'll grin, then behind our backs

he'll discreetly flip us the bird

Villagers Chorus:

Nary a stain on our regal robe's train

'cept him and that thing in his jar

Down at the park, our land-loving shark

There's only one bum in Corona del Mar

Narrator:

Down at one local park bench

under a blanket called "Home"

the rain falling hard now

but I assure you he's never alone

He's always got an invisible buddy there

They speak to each other in tongues

Once I think I heard them muttering

calling all of us "stinking C.D.M. bums!"

Villagers Chorus:

Nary a flaw in our high castle wall

just one crack that's lowered the bar

(one fly in our caviar)

Is that Stacy Keech passed out on the beach?

No, it's only our bum from Corona del Mar

Narrator: The cops don't like to arrest him

When they have, he would purposely mess his drawers

And as the winds of change carry the scent of tolerance

That's an odor we just can't ignore

Now our kids give him little gifts at Christmas

Like wrapped lottery tickets in hopes

That eventually he'll hit the jackpot and buy...

Kids:

"Houses, and Escalades, and boats!"

Villagers:

Corona Del Mar, Crown of the Sea

We nobles agree just how lucky we are

Plenty of plenty for you and for me

and there's only one bum in Corona del Mar

We're using Ben Franklins to light our cigars

'cos we might not like it

but at least he's ours

Only one bum...

Narrator:

Now all this happened years ago

Sadly today our hero's not around

Some say he's been seen in Fresno

others say they heard he drowned

Still others swear he got baptized,

spreading the Word both near and far

and some of us think he may be

the richest man who ever

lived in Corona Del Mar

Villagers:

Carona Del Mar, Crown of the Sea

we nobles agree just how lucky we are

Plenty o'plenty for you and for me

and we sure miss that bum in Carona del Mar

Sure miss that bum in Corona del Mar

Sure miss that bum in Corona....

Narrator: And we all lived happily ever after!

...del Mar

La la la la, la la la la....